I'm Not Going Anywhere
by Dominiqueyay
Summary: Ally leaves for MUNY (Music University of New York) but is forced to return. She's pregnant. Austin and Ally battle a traumatic birth, teen parenthood, and the mental warfare. Is love enough?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_This _Austin and Ally_ story begins from the last episode of season one _Albums & Auditions_ when Austin, Dez and Trish find out that MUNY (music university of New York) that they helped Ally get accepted into in actually in New York not in Miami. Auslly story!_

_This is my first ever FanFiction story so let's hope all goes well_

_I don't own _Austin&Ally _any characters from the show any similar story lines (trust me it's not going to be any of the same stories in the least just a spin off on episode if things might have turned out differently) I don't own any lines taken from the show (I'm only going to use lines from the show in this one chapter)_

**Chapter 1 – I Don't Regret Anything**

-{Ally}-

"Ally, I can't believe your gonna drive to New York for school every day, that's like twelve hundred miles!" I looked at Dez in disbelief my mouth formed a perfect o. Dez wasn't as bright as his fiery hair. But even with his hideous money pants and bright purple dolphin shirt I knew I was going to miss his quirky view on life.

"No Dez, she's **moving** to New York" Austin explained, the disappointment and sadness was evident in her best friend's voice. I'm going to miss him the most. Sure Trish has been my best friend for years, but there's something about not being able to see that blonde boy with his wild rock star dreams, irrational fear of umbrellas and worrying extreme love of pancakes, everyday that makes my heart ache. Thinking about not being with him makes me not what to go.

"Guys this is really hard for me." The worlds trembled from my lips, to the 3 sets of sad puppy dog eyes before me. I look at them and it feels like I had taken a group of 8 year olds to Disneyland but tore them away as soon as we got to the gate. "But I can't pass up this opportunity. I can't give up on my dream" I finished.

-{Austin}-

...but I can't give up on my dream" Ally finished she looked defeated. I know this is her dream but I don't know how would wake up in the morning knowing that I won't be able to look into those deep chocolaty eyes, or hear the laugh that makes my heart melt or sit next to her at the piano and blush when ever our hands briefly touch. I'm going to miss her touch. I'm can't do any of this without her who's gonna write my songs?

"Do you feel this way too Austin?" Ally questions me tearing me back into reality

"I just can't believe, you're really, going." I said sincerely looking into her big brown eyes the worry and hurt expressed on her face, it breaks my heart. "I mean our music career is just getting started" I added quickly. It's not the time or place for her to know the way she makes me feel.

"Don't you guys understand how important this is to me?" Ally said looking at me then turning to Dez and Trish you could feel the hurt in her beautiful voice.

Ally stormed out of the practice room slamming the wooden door behind her a guitar crashed to the floor making Dez, Trish and I cringe. If I was in a movie this is where the sad music plays and the three of us feel guilty for making our best friend feel this way and stare at our shoes and feel sorry for ourselves. But this isn't a movie and the three of us went to the food court.

"Can this really be the end to team Austin" I asked breaking the awkward sober silence at our small metal table under the Miami's beating sun.

"Ally's really going away to that school!" Trish said "After all the things we've done for her... Like getting her in to that music school!" She exclaimed in an angry tone but I have known her long enough to know that she's not angry she's just upset. She doesn't want to lose her best friend. And I don't want to lose my best song writer/partner/friend/most amazingly beautiful girl in the entire world.

"Guys we have to put ourselves in Allys shoes. She's probably feeling betrayed because she has a chance at fulfilling her dreams and we're not being supportive." Dez explained shockingly he makes sense and guilt fills my veins. If i had a chance to sing in Times Square at New Years Eve, Ally would no doubt be the most supportive person in the universe. She would be by my side helping me every step of the way. And that's what I need to do I have to be there for her, this is Allys dream and god knows she deserves it she is the most talented musician I have ever met including myself.

"If you really care about Ally Dawson you need to put aside your own feelings" Dez gestured with his hands putting things aside "so we can let her sore" he turned his hands into a bird and made them fly with the word 'sore'. I had to hold back a laugh because I love the man's gestures but he was also genuine we do need to put our own selfish feelings aside so that Ally can achieve her dreams and I will be supportive, I'll be by her side whatever Ally chooses to do.

/

"GIVE IT UP OF AUSTIN MOOOOON" Jimmy Sparks boomed into the microphone at my album release party. Album release. I still can't believe this is happening. But the only thing that's on my mind is this is the last night I have with Ally before she leaves for New York tomorrow morning.

Cheers and whistles ring in my ears filling my body with anticipation and excitement. I love performing it's like riding a rollercoaster and you get to the big drop and your stomach stays at the top of the drop but your body is at the bottom and your stomach catches up and you're speeding upside down, terrifying yet amazing at the same time. I feel the same whenever I see Ally. The cheering crowd puts a smile on my face, I still can't get over the fact that this many people what to hear me, Austin Moon sing.

"Hey everybody thanks for coming. Tonight was supposed to be about me, but it's also kinda also a going away party for my songwriter and best friend Ally" I look over at Ally smiling, she let out a surprised gush in a stunning silver one sleeved dress, i can't remember a time where she ever looked so beautiful. "Congratulations Ally. Me, Trish and Dez put this video together to give you something to remember us by, hope you like it"

-{Ally}-

I smiled at Austin. I can't believe Austin has shared this night with me, this is his night. Austin is the sweetest guy I have ever met; I can't believe I have to leave. A video played behind Austin's blond head, his eyes were sparkling as his hand easily moved along the guitars strings it looked so natural as if he had been born with it. He sang a slowed down acoustic version of _Without You _an earlier song I wrote about Austin. It sounded so sweet it was sugar to the ears, he sounded too good to be true, heavenly. - Did I die and go to heaven? –

The video was obviously a Dez creation. A silent montage of Austin, Dez and Trish holding up _We will miss you Ally _signs and mucking around, Me and Austin off track and laughing at the piano, all of us wearing a few of Trish's many ex uniform hats, dancing with Austin, all four of us just having a good time. I tried to hold back the tears watching my friends on the screen, remembering everything I'm going to miss. Austin's voice entering my ears and making me feel all tingly. I couldn't hold it any longer as a single tear rolled down my face. I quickly wiped it away as Austin finished his touching performance.

"I'm sorry for not being supportive of you Ally, when something so amazing is happening in your life, I'm always going to be there for you" Austin said looking directly into my eyes with his own hazel ones from the stage. "I'm really gonna miss you"

"Me too Ally, and I'm sorry too. Dez made me realise that I was just upset about you leaving" Trish added.

"Dez made you realise something?" I asked in disbelief

"I know right! I sad about losing you but I am super excited for you too." I was defiantly miss my Trish, her dark curly hair, her eccentric dress style, her feisty attitude, and insane loyalty. She's the best, best friend anyone could ask for.

"You won't lose me Trish. Or you Dez or Austin. I'm still going to write your songs and be your friend i just won't see you every day." I sad with a lump in my throat. I swallowed back my tears and plastered on a smile. I have to stay strong.

-{Austin}-

...I just won't see you everyday" My heart sank. A little piece of me really thought that seeing the video would make her stay. Yeah we will still be friends and she will still be my songwriter but it won't be the same. I won't be able to hold her close and breathe in her strawberry scented shampoo, or tease her about song book and chase her around the practice room. Who's going to replace her at Sonic Boom? Someone might be able to replace her at work but no one will replace her in my heart, and she will never know.

/

"Wow that was some party!" Ally exclaimed examining the almost empty room.

We were the only ones left besides the cleaners. I glanced at the clock glowing 2:13. I pulled Ally in for a hug, it wasn't awkward, we do it all the time being best friends but I have always wondered what it would be like to kiss her pink lips. I settled for her forehead.

"I'm gonna miss you Als. The one thing I regret about tonight is that I didn't get to spend more time with you." I looked down into her big brown eyes.

"My plane doesn't leave for another 12 hours, come with me I finished the _Good Bye Song_"*****

-{Ally}-

Sitting on the piano seat in the practice room of Sonic Boom at 2:30 in the morning I watch as Austin enters hiding something behind his back.

"I was going to wait until we got to the airport before I gave you this but here" Austin says shoving a wrapped present into my small hands.

I carefully tore open the beautiful metallic red wrapping paper with a red ribbon around it obviously his mother wrapped it but it was sweet of him. I tore of the red paper to see a small jewellery box I carefully snapped open the box to reveal a beautiful pendent. A small Treble Clef on a sliver chain. It was perfect.

"It's to remind you of me, when you're so far away." Austin explained as he helped clasp the necklace on my neck "To remind you I am always there when you need me."

I looked into his eyes his hands still hovering around my neck although he was finished I placed my hand on the pendent knowing it's never going to leave this spot. Austin's hands gently moved his hands to my waist. It felt weird. Not in a bad way it felt good and right like I should be there all the time. Austin's hands quickly dropped from my waist

"Because we're best friends err. Yeah. Best friends" He quickly added my heart sank.

"Err. So the song um here goes" I said nervously.

My fingers reach for the piano keys. My arm brushes against Austin's our hands touch briefly, I can feel my cheeks burning. Suddenly Austin grabs my hand and pulls me close. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my head into his chest I can feel his muscles against my soft cheek. I can breathe in Austin, a mixed scent of mint and lynx deodorant. He smelt so good I can't hold it any longer and I can feel hot tears waterfall from my eyes, I try to stay quiet but I let out a sob. I feel Austin's arms around my waist pull me closer. I look up at Austin his hazel eyes memorise me his smile warms my heart.

I feel Austin's lips on mine. I was shocked. He was kissing me. Like really kissing me. What surprised me the most was that I was kissing him back. I relaxed my body and ran with the movement. Our tongues explored each other's mouths. It felt natural. Why had we never done this before? My hands ran up and down Austin's muscled back. I felt his abs; it felt so right under my fingers. I felt his large hands on the small of my back sending shivers up my spine. My shirt was gone. So was his. The kisses became more intense. He kissed me all over as we lay on the floor of the practise room. I felt his lips press against my neck and my bare breasts.

That night Austin gave me a necklace then we gave each other something we will never get back. And you know what. I don't regret a thing. How can I ever leave him? Maybe I won't.

***A/N; The ****_Good Bye Song_**** is the song Ally wrote to say she was moving to New York the original goes like this **I'm leaving for school I'm going far away Your career is just about to start and I'm so sad I have to depart Who knows how long I will be gone I'm so sad I can barely speak Gonna miss you Austin, Dez and Trish I'm leaving for New York in a week {I was going to rewrite this but it turns out I didn't need to get to where I was going so yeah here's the lyrics anyway}

**Thanks for reading I have planned out more chapters and hope to add a new chapter each week (its summer holidays here in New Zealand so it's very possible to keep to that goal) Feel free to review any feedback welcome (but it is my first fanfic so be nice J)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N;**_ I was going to wait a week before updating but then I was awake all night thinking of new ideas so I'm updating now I hope you enjoy_

**Disclaimer;** I do not own Austin, Ally, Dez or Trish yo.

**Chapter 2 – You Can Tell Me Anything And Everything **

-{Austin}- one month after Ally left for MUNY

"Bacon pants is the stupidest idea I have ever heard" I said looking at my tall red headed friend wearing a bright green panda t-shirt and pants made of crispy bacon rashers.

"It's practical! I can walk around in my bacon pants and when I'm hungry, BOOM, delicious snack" Dez explained tearing of a piece of bacon to demonstrate. "How is it different to your sundae pants?"

"I eat sundaes OFF pants, I don't wear a pants MADE of sundae!" I laughed. The truth is I haven't been able to enjoy sundae pants since Ally left it reminds me of her. Every time I lay out my jeans and reach for the whipped cream '_there shouldn't have to be a rule not to eat sundaes off your pants!' _rings in my mind in Allys voice. Everything reminds me of Ally.

"Hey guys guess who just got a job at _Vanilla Ice Ice Cream!" _Trish said in her usual sing song voice. I laughed as Trish entered Sonic Boom dressed in a bright blue polo shirt a baggy bright coloured jacket, baggy pants, layers of gold necklaces topped off with a backwards cap. I have been working here at Sonic Boom since Ally left but it hasn't been the same.

"ALLY!" I yelled. The petite girl was standing in the doorway of Sonic Boom in a dress and cute vest. She looks beautiful. Hell she always looks beautiful. I ran to her and pulled her close squeezing her as hard as possible breathing in her sweet strawberry scent.

"Al's you're kinda stealing my thunder here" Trish said before tearing her from me and hugging her tiny frame.

-{Ally}-

Standing outside Sonic Boom, I know I'm going to have to go in sooner or later. How will I tell them? I smiled watching Trish enter in her usual style, I giggled to myself she looked ridiculous in those 80s style baggy pants and fluorescent jacket. It will be ok. It will be fine. I felt the tiny Treble Clef the rests on my chest, took a deep breath in and stood at the doorway.

"ALLY!" I look up. Austin is flying to me before I know it his strong arms are held tight around my body lifting me above the ground. His embrace makes my heart melt. It reminds me of the last time he held me like this. Letting go was the hardest part. But I did. And I got on that plane. I breathed in his scent. I've missed it. I buried my face in the crook of his neck it fits perfectly, like it was made for me. I wonder if he will hold me like this when he knows, so this time I'm never letting go.

Trish tore me from Austin. I didn't hate her, but I wasn't grateful either. But she pulled me in for a hug and I forgave her. I've spent this last month thinking about how much I missed Austin that I forgot how much I missed Trish.

"Dez, your pants!" I exclaimed and let out a small laugh.

"Yeah you want some" Dez tore a piece of bacon off his shin and offered it to me. I laughed and shook my head giving Dez a quick hug. I missed him more than I thought I wonder what other weird stuff he's thought of in this past month.

"So why are you back?" Trish asked getting straight to the point, usual Trish.

"I just missed you guys too much" I lied.

"I don't need a fancy school to teach me about music I'm learning everything I need to know from you guys!" That was true but it's not why I came back though, but if this didn't happen I'm sure I would be. We group hugged.

"Team Austin is back together!" Austin exclaimed jumping in the air.

"Yes. Yes it is" I whispered.

/

"Ok Al's now that it's just me and you tell me why you're really home so early" Trish sat me on my bed beside her looking directly into my eyes.

"W-w-what do you mean? I told you why I'm back" I told her

"Ally. We have been best friends for years" She looked at me a little annoyed "I know when something's up. You're hiding something"

"I'm pregnant" Trish's eyes widened.

My vision became blurry and my eyes flooded with tears. My eyes became Niagara Falls. My nose made loud disgusting sniffs, snot getting everywhere. Sobs that could shake the building escaped my mouth. I looked like a mess. Trish just held me.

My sobs died down. I could see clearly now. Trish whispered "H-h-how did you find out?"

/**Flashback To One Week Earlier**/

Gross. Sitting on the grotty black and white tiled floors mould piled up in the corner. I think I'm finished. I flushed away everything I ate yesterday I did not taste good on the way out. That's the last time I ever buy sushi from the gas station.

I pulled myself up to the basin of the sink. I stared at myself in the mirror. Big black bags sagged under my eyes; the stress of this school is defiantly taking its toll. I cringed at the vomit that caught in my bird's nest of a head of hair. I'm going to need a shower. My necklace contrasts with my worn out face, it looks so beautiful sitting so delicately on my chest the tiny music note reminds me of him as the gems twinkle under the dim bathroom light. 6:48 blinks on a clock reflecting in the mirror. What a great way to start the day, I thought sarcastically to myself.

I shifted uncomfortably my breasts felt weird and tight in my bra. I must be growing. I opened the cabinet above the sink to reach for my tooth brush. Tampons. I widened my eyes. I did a quick calculation in my head. "I'm late!"

/

I nervously scuttled around the convenience store. I wore a black hoodie and black sunglasses; I don't want anyone to recognise me. I picked up a basket and shoved a magazine a bottle of juice and a packet of gum into it.

I peered around the aisle with pregnancy tests on it, a man comparing condoms stood in front of them in a Christmas sweater and brown Capri pants. Weird. I pretended to be interested in batteries picking up packets and reading the backs, until the man left. I hastily put a packet of double As into my basket so I wouldn't look like a freak. I quickly walked down the aisle and grabbing a test without looking at it shoved it under the magazine and went to the counter.

I nervously stood at the counter a fat man in his thirties sat at the counter mindlessly scanning my items. Batteries, juice, gum, magazine and lastly the pregnancy test.

"It's ah- for a friend" I said quickly.

"Lady I don't care, just pay the $28.31" The man said rudely, putting my items into a clear plastic bag.

I fumbled around with my wallet and paid. I quickly grabbed my plastic bag pulling out the pregnancy test and shoving it to the bottom of my purse.

/

3 minutes. Just 3 minutes. I can do that. Breathe.

I paced back and forth in the dorms bathroom. 3 minutes feels like a lifetime.

"ALLLY, I NEED THE BATHROOM! YOU BETTER NOT BE PUKING AGAIN!" Isabel a girl from my floor yelled banging rapidly on the bathroom door.

"Ok, ok." I shoved the test in my purse and hurried to my room.

One deep breath. I closed my eyes tight; part of me doesn't what to know. I forced my eyes open. All I saw pink plus sign before my eyes slowly filled with water, my right hand cupping my mouth. How will I tell Austin?

/**Flashback Over**/ back to Ally and Trish in Allys bedroom

"Allly" Trish said in a thick sympathetic tone pulling me closer to her. How lucky am I to have a friend like Trish?

"Are you going to keep it?" she asked

The thought never accrued to me. Should I get rid of it? Thoughts ran in and out of my head, I forgot I had options. I have no money, and Austin's career is just about to take off made it would be best for me to get rid of it. But it's not an it. It's a baby. Half me, half Austin. Adoption? No I can't go through this just to give my baby to a stranger.

"Yes, yes I am" I said with a smile. I have been so focused on what to say that I forgot that after 9 months I'm going to have a little tiny cute baby.

"Sooo..." Trish began "Who's the father?"

I breathed in heavily my fingers gripping my treble clef pendent "Austin" Trish widened her eyes so much I was afraid they might fall out.

-{Austin}-

Allys been acting so strange since she got back, something must have happened at MUNY.

**Text From Dez; **Hey man there's a guy here at outside the megaphone store with a monkey that can ride a skateboard while eating a whole water melon! Meet you in 5?

**Reply;** Dude that's awesome! I'm going to hang out with Ally today take a pic for me?

**Text From Dez; **Sure thing, see you later

I entered Sonic Boom on the hunt for Ally. Maybe she's in the practice room.

_There's something inside of me you need to know_

_I wish I could tell you_

_I breaks my heart but I don't know how_

I heard Ally singing from the outside of the practice room, her voice is so pure and beautiful it makes me feel all weird and tingly. I stand still not wanting her to hear me I love listening to her sing.

"How will I ever tell Austin?" Ally said to herself cutting off the music sounding defeated. I couldn't see her but I knew she was crying.

I was shocked. What on earth can she not tell me? We tell each other everything. We are BEST friends, I think something more than that... maybe.

I try to quietly walk in but I stumble on a guitar and fall to the floor.

"Oh my god Austin?!" Ally jumped from the piano seat in shock wiping her eyes and forcing a smile.

I pulled myself off the floor wiping my hands on my dark jeans. I tenderly grabbed both of her hands. Her touch quickly shot shivers though my body, I have missed it so much.

I looked into her eyes. "What's wrong? I heard you singing, you know you can tell me anything and everything."

Ally dropped my hands making my heart sink. She looked away and wiped tears from her eyes. Seeing her sad makes me want to kill the world. Nothing has the right to make her feel this way. Seeing Ally cry is like seeing your mother cry only 500 million times worse, it makes my heart ache. I pulled her close to my body, she cried more heavily. I stayed silent.

Ally looked up at me with her chocolate brown eyes. I kissed her gently on the forehead, being here in the practice room reminded me of that night. The best night of my entire life.

"Austin." Ally began "I'm pregnant."

**A/N; Dun dun dun how will Austin react? Cliff hanger!**

**Feel free to review tell me what you like about the story and don't be afraid to tell me what you don't like I want to improve my writing : ) **

**Update soon promise!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N; **_Sorry for any spelling mistakes in the last chapter I'm not the best speller but I am working with Microsoft word so hopefully I won't have any spelling mistakes in the future. Oh and I spell color, colour because I live in good ol' New Zealand._

_I hope you don't mind me updating fast I obviously have no life but enjoy! _

**Disclaimer; **_I don't own Austin and Ally etc. etc._

**Chapter 3 – I Love You**

-{Ally}-

"I'm pregnant" I whispered to Austin I buried my face into his chest; I don't know how he will react. I continued to softly sob.

Austin held me close, his strong hands stroking my dark hair gently. I took a deep breath in my fingers softly running my necklace between them, I stopped biting my nails when I moved away my necklace comforts me when I'm nervous. Austin still hadn't said anything, he just held me close.

Minutes that felt like years passed before I looked up into Austin's eyes. He is so gorgeous. His blonde hair had caught the light from the window of the practice room, his hazel eyes sparkled and his smile makes my heart skip a beat and forces a smile upon my own lips.

"It's yours" I whispered looking into his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere. I love you." Austin whispered back and kissed my lips. It felt so good. It was like listening to loud music in the car with the windows down, wind blowing in your face on a hot summer's day. It was perfect.

"I love you too."

-{Austin}-

"Come on Al's we have to go to visit the doctor, let's do this right" I told Ally sitting on the bench at Sonic Boom. We have an appointment we agreed to go but Allys grown cold feet. I can tell she's nervous, playing with the necklace I brought her before she moved to New York and wiping the bench.

She shot me frustrated looks nudging for me to get off so she could wipe where I am sitting. I jumped off and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. I love that. Since I told her I loved her we are finally a proper couple, I get to kiss her cheek and hold her hand whenever I want and I love it.

I pulled her away from the counter and kissed her properly.

"Ok lets go" Ally sighed

"Hey, guys guess who got a job at _Baby Supplies Plus" _Trish burst into the store in a oversized bib and diaper "I thought it would be great to get so discounts for my best friends" She smiled

"Sssssh" Ally and I pounced on our short Latina friend

"What did I say?" She looked at us confused

"Allys dad doesn't know about... our ahh... situation, and where not ready to tell yet." I explained in a hushed tone.

"What situation?" Dez asked walking up to us wearing a brightest yellow t-shirt with a movie film on it, and pants covered in rubrics cubes, suspenders hanging out of his pockets and his signature backpack. I tilted my head towards Ally

"Oooh" He said in realisation "Want to go see the new Zaliens movie? I got you your own matching haaaat!" Dez asked excitedly pulling out to rather large blue hats with tentacles and eyes out of his small backpack

"I'm gonna have to pass" I laughed "we have an appointment" I squeezed Ally.

-{Ally}-

I sat in the OB/GYN waiting room. It's so dreary. White walls with safe sex posters plastered sloppily all over, peeling off at the corners old and faded. A young couple in their twenties smile a baby in their arms, a happy family. There's no one my age smiling back at me, on the walls. There is one other couple sitting on the cold metal chairs. They're both in their thirties a young boy is playing in the corner with wooden blocks. The woman is heavily pregnant and a large diamond ring takes pride of place on her left hand.

Austin looks into my eyes and squeezes my hand tight. His eyes tell me everything is going to be ok, but my heart continues to race in my chest beating like a drum at a rock concert. My fingers fondle the treble clef pendant and I stare out the small window, and a dusty blind hangs half way down.

"Ally Dawson" A timid red headed middle aged woman calls in hushed tone from the hall way.

Austin stands up first clutching my hand pulling me to my feet. We followed the read headed nurse down the hallway to the doctor's office.

/

I sat in one of those weird doctors chairs that move backwards, in an awkward robe, underwearless. Of course Austin couldn't control his laughter when the gynaecologist said underwear.

I felt a bit violated after the doctor did all the usual tests and scans; I've been poked and prodded. Austin looked awkward. Poor Austin he didn't know where to look but he held my hand and kissed my forehead. There is no way I could have done this on my own. There is no way I could have done this without HIM.

The gynaecologist returned with the test results. She smiled at me behind her thick black framed glasses and pushed her black bob behind her ears.

"Ok miss Dawson. You should be happy your baby is healthy and it's developing on track." She told me. Her voice was so caring and understanding, it made me feel like I could really do this.

"Your baby is due on June 2, 2013 you are only 6 weeks along"

I looked at Austin and we both smiled. We can do this. _We can do this._

-{Austin}-

Ally has convinced me that it's best to tell my parents first. I don't know why she is so hesitant to tell her father but I have a feeling that if I ask I will be opening a can of worms, when it's right she will tell him I know she will.

After we left the gynaecologists office we immediately went to my house. I look over to Ally sitting in the passenger seat. She's starring out the window her leg twitching uncontrollably, chewing on her lower lip, her necklace running in and out of her fingers. I placed my hand on her twitching leg she immediately stopped and looked at me I could see the fear in her large brown eyes, I tenderly kissed her lips. "It will be ok" I told her.

I burst though the front door of my parents Miami town house dragging Ally along behind me.

"AUSTY!" Jessie my 7 year old sister dressed in a pink fairy costume ran up to me wrapping her entire body around my legs. Then hugged Ally just as tight, Jessie loves Ally. Seeing my two favourite girls together I can't help but smile.

"Hey Jessie" I said crouching down to her level "Can you go and get mom and dad? Ally and I have something to tell them"

"Ohhhhhhhhh tayyyyyyyyy" Jessie skipped down the hallway a fairy wand in hand, casting spells on everything in her path.

I hugged Ally from the side jolting her to reality her eyes no longer staring at her shoes. We moved together into the kitchen where my parents were cooking dinner together.

"Hey little prince!" My mom greeted me with a tight hug and my dad ruffled my hair.

"And Ally, would you like to stay for dinner dear?" My dad asked. Ally nodded shyly and gripped my hand tightly.

"Mom, Dad we need to tell you something. It's umm... quite important actually. Life changing. I don't know how to say it. Umm" I stumbled on my words, I love my parents to death, and I know they will be supportive as hell but I just don't know how to get the words out.

"Honey what is it? What's wrong?" My mom looked at me with genuine concern, rubbing her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm pregnant" Ally burst out "I'm sorry, we never planned on this, or doing anything that could result in this, we were careful just not careful enough, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry" Ally talked so fast all her words sounded like one long word. I gripped her hand.

"Honey, honey, its ok. Your good kids, sometimes these things happen. Mike and I will be will with every step of the way." My mom said hugging Ally tight.

"Yes we will." My dad added "I can't say I'm not disappointed but we will both be there for the two of you"

"Thanks guys" I hugged both my parents and pecked Ally on the cheek, squeezing her hand.

-{Ally}-

I love Austin Moon. I never wished for this to happen I would never in a million years would have thought that me Ally Dawson would become a mother at 17, but I am happy that out of all the guys I'm on the planet I was blessed to go through this with none other than Austin Moon. My best friend and my now boyfriend. Boyfriend. Austin Moon is my boyfriend; a huge smile crept across my face.

"Hey, you what are you smiling about" Austin snuck up to me at the Sonic Boom counter; I quickly slapped my song book shut and greeted my blond boyfriend with a kiss.

"Nooothing, I was just thinking of you!" I grinned

"Soooo you're 8 weeks now. Do you think it might be time to tell your dad?" Austin asked gingerly. I had been thinking about it. Telling my father isn't going to be easy it's going to be like stapling water in a tree. Impossible but if you put water in a bag you can staple the bag to a tree, so when there's a will there's a way. 8 weeks. It's time.

"Will you come with me?" I asked trying to pull the cutest puppy dog eyes possible; I know he can't resist me.

"Don't be silly of course I will!" he kissed me gently on the lips.

"Mr Moon, are you kissing my daughter?" My dad laughed as he entered the store. Maybe this will go better than expected.

"Actually sir, we have something we need to tell you" Austin began pulling me closer so close I could smell the laundry detergent on his red striped top, it smelt nice of lemon.

"Well if you're going to tell me that you two have got together, I must say I'm not surprised it took you long enough! Hold on to this one Ally he's a keeper!" My dad said with a laugh hugging me and doing one of those gangster half hand shake half hug thing with Austin.

"Yeah dad that's it" I mumbled nerves got the better of me I felt like I had to perform in front of thousands of people, not just talk to my father.

"No sir uh... Allys... uh... Allys pregnant" Austin spat out.

My father immediately dropped Austin's grasp. I watched as his face turned red. His whole body looked like a thermometer getting increasingly red until it reached the top of his bald head. *** **He looked like a giant tomato. He was a boiled pot about to explode.

"ALLY! HOW COULD YOU BE SO IRRSPONISBLE!" My father boomed "I THOUGHT THIS LITTLE MUSIC THING WAS JUST A PHASE! I KNEW I WAS A BAD INFLUENCE!" My father glared at Austin, Austin's eyes were wide struck with fear. "YOU AUSTIN MOON. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY LITTLE GIRL!" He pointed at Austin his teeth clenched his face tight with anger.

"Daddy" I whispered. He took a deep breath the redness in his face disappeared.

"Ally, sweetie how far along?" He asked

"Uh... 8 weeks" I trembled staring at my shoes squeezing Austin's hand so hard I'm afraid I may have cut off his circulation.

"Good you still have enough time to get an abortion; I will drive you there tomorrow. And you!" My father turned to Austin "Stay away from my daughter!" He stormed out of the store.

-{Lester Dawson}-

My daughter. My Ally. How could she do this? I thought to myself sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office. I rested my face in the palms of my hands. If only her mother hadn't past all those years ago. She would know what to do. I'm a lousy father; I thought I was doing everything right. Now look at me I'm sitting waiting as my daughter gets an abortion in the next room. How did I let this happen to my little princess?

"All done" Ally said walking towards me her hand cupped around her necklace. She's so beautiful, she reminds me so much of her mother. Her hair, her smile, her laugh, and her passion for music.

"That's great baby girl" I wrapped my arm around my daughter "You better get some sleep"

-{Ally}-

I couldn't do it. I never planned to. I never wanted to. The babies still here, and there's no way I can tell my father.

***A/N; I can't remember if Lester Dawson is bald or not but I envision him to be bald so hes bald.**

**Ah yes the advantages to not having a live another chapter! But I'm working the next few days so probably won't update for another week.**

**Enjoy review peace love merry Christmas **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N; **_Hello lovely people it's been unbelievably hot here in Northland New Zealand it's been miserable and then suddenly BAM amazingly hot weather cross your fingers for me that it's still hot at Christmas otherwise it will be a rather miserable Christmas at the beach! Back to my original point it's been extremely hot so it's been hard for me to get motivated to sit at my computer and write but here it is Chapter 4, hope you enjoy it._

**Chapter 4 – You Taste Like Maple Syrup {11 weeks pregnant}**

-{Ally}-

"You have to tell your dad, Ally" Austin yelled. It's been 3 weeks since I walked out of the clinic in my father's arms claiming to have aborted my baby

"I can't Austin! You saw how he reacted when he found out I was pregnant! He. Will. Kill. You!" I screamed back jumping of the edge of Austin's bed, waving my arms furiously in the air.

"You can't hide this forever Allison!" Allison? Austin NEVER calls me by my full name. His face was as red as, as Dez's hair and he flew around the room his arms flopping round like a hyperactive squirrel.

"Well I can try!" I shot back my face felt hot and my eyes pierced his sole. I was so angry.

"Ally" Austin breathed he calmed down and placed his hand on mine and sat next to be on the bed.

"You're starting to show, he's going to find out." I shifted my skirt uncomfortably, trying to cover my small bump.

"I will" I said all my emotions forced out of my body in that one phrase. "It's just not the time"

"The time will come sooner than you think Als. And I will be there when that time comes" I smiled as Austin pulled me close and felt his lips press to my temple. We survived our first fight.

"It's time to go Allygator" Austin pulled me to my feet and we left for the OB/GYN clinic.

/

Back in the doctors chair this time it won't be so invasive, but my heart was still beating at a hundred miles per hour. I look up at my blonde fun loving boyfriend holding my hand, and smiling a wide smile that turned my every concern to dust.

"Ok, Ally this may feel a little strange" Dr Stevens warns. Dr Stevens is a wonderful gynaecologist she's been with me since the beginning, she understands what's going on with my father and doesn't judge. She also pretty, about 30, tall, with short dark hair and cute glasses, I trust her with my whole heart.

I winced as Dr Stevens rubbed some cold goo over my stomach.

"It does feel weird" I chuckled, and Austin squeezed my hand.

"Ok Ally looks like you have a healthy baby growing inside of you" Dr Stevens smiled at me

"Wa- Whats that noise?" I asked horrified, I shout up, my heart raced my eyes popping out of my skull.

"Relax Ally." Dr Stevens shot me a soothing look placing her hand gentally on my wrist "Thats your babies heart beat"

"Oh" I lay back on the chair, Austin laughed and I hit him playfully on the stomach.

"Wow that's our babies heart beat?" Austin asked he sounded so happy "Amazing"

"Here he or she is" Dr Stevens pointed at a peanut shaped blob on the monitor.

"Wow" I whispered. There's life inside of me. It's the weirdest sensation.

"It's so beautiful" Austin added. I laughed, but I had to agree it was the most beautiful blob I have ever set eyes on.

"So Austin and Ally, everything seems to be right on track. If you have any trouble don't feel afraid to give me a call" I nodded

"That's good, now I'll get you cleaned up and give you some pamphlets, about eating right etc etc. You can take home an ultra sound photo, and you're out of here" Dr Stevens gave me another award winning smile.

/

"Hey Dad, I'm hommmmme!" I called in a sing song tone after a day out shopping with Trish.

"Dad?" I asked concerned, he almost always replies when I get home.

"Dad?" I walked slowly though the kitchen and peered around to the living room. He was standing there looking at something a look of sorrow in his eyes.

"Dad, what's wrong? Is it Mom?" I voice cracked at the second question my heart grown swollen with concern and worry.

"Dad?"

"You didn't get the abortion did you?" He asked.

"W-w-what are you talking about?" I asked my heart pumping in my chest, and my cheeks grew red.

"YOU DIDN"T GET THE ABORTION. DIDN'T YOU!" My father's voice boomed, shaking my mother's china sitting in the wooden cabinet.

"Of-of of course I did!" I whimpered staring at my red converse shoes cradling my treble clef necklace in my newly manicured hand.

"DON'T YOU LIE TO ME ALLISON!" He screamed shoving my ultra sound photo in my face.

"Where did you find that" I asked in shock my mouth formed an o, my brown eyes as wide as saucepans. I grasped the photo pulling it close to my body.

"Where do you THINK I found the photo?! It was sitting on your bedside table. For an intelligent girl you sure are making many STUPID mistakes lately!" My dad yelled not quite as red as before.

"You can still abort, Ally we can go tomorrow." My dad said in a calm tone. I did look genuinely concerned but I hated him all the same.

I could feel tears threatening to power from my eyes but I shoved them back.

"Dad. I'm not aborting my baby. It's a baby!" I told him looking directly into his eyes, not looking up at him like usual.

"Ok you don't have to abort, I guess you have chosen to adopt out the child" My father said pacing the lounge rubbing his temples with his large fingers.

"No daddy. I'm not going to abort or adopt my baby. This baby is mine and Austin's and WE have chosen to raise it together." I said firmly.

"YOU, Ally are not responsible enough to raise a child and Austin..." My dad scoffed "Is the single MOST irresponsible person I have ever had the displeasure to meet! You are adopting out this baby no questions asked. It's sorted"

My body shook with fear my fingers trembling at my sides. A wave of confidence shot though my body, killing every ounce of fear and sadness within me. I Stood tall looking down at my father.

"No dad. I'm not going to adopt. And if you can't be supportive of my decision then I'm outta here!" I yelled storming up the stairs ultra sound picture in hand.

"So what you're just gonna leave!" My dad screamed "Where are you gonna go you stupid girl! You're fired no one's going to hire a pregnant teenager!"

I breathed in pushing tears to my feet. "Yes dad, I'm leaving"

-{Austin}-

I'm suddenly forced back into consciousness from a pancake coma from a loud banging at the front door. I peeled a sticky syrupy pancake from my chest dusting my hands on my dark skinny jeans and hoped off the couch.

The person at the door kept knocking furiously "I'm coming, I'm coming!" I called

I swung the big front door open.

"Ally?" I was shocked as to what was before me. My beautiful pregnant girlfriend was standing on my front porch with 3 suitcases surrounding her.

"Can I stay here for a while?" Ally asked with watery eyes, she looked like a puppy in the pound.

"Corse" I answered quietly. She pounced at me wrapping her small arms around my waist burying her head in my chest. In the one embrace I could feel all her fear and sadness rush from her small body.

"You taste like maple syrup" Ally mumbled, I laughed and held her close, I'm always happiest when she's in my arms.

**A/N; For anyone reading from New Zealand I have loosely based the Dr Stevens (Ally's gynaecologist) On Dr Sarah Potts from Shortland Street, she was so supportive of Ula in her teen pregnancy thought she would make a great doctor for Ally.**

**This chapters not quite as long as some of the others but I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Review ! Let me know what you think :) **

**I will update soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N;**_ Hello there I'm going away for a while, as I am on holiday so I thought I would be nice and update before I leave. I'm feeling a bit guilty for not having enough Dez and Trish but the storyline so far in the story are evolve around the pregnancy and A&As relationship but I am trying to get more Dez/Trish into the story! Without further to do iiiiiiiiiiiiit's chapter 5 _

_I don't own Austin&Ally_

**Chapter 5 – You Are My Reality {17-18 Weeks Pregnant}**

-{Austin}-

I lay awake on my bed next to a snoring Ally. My house is very small so Ally and I are crammed into my bedroom. Ally has taken over the room, her clothes bulge out of my closet, piles of shoes scatter all over the red carpet, make up and miscellaneous beauty products tower over my stack of CDs on the dresser burying my possessions along with my manhood, even my bed cover has changed from electric guitars to some kind of red and yellow floral design. Although I feel my space has been well and truly invaded I haven't ever been as happy as I am since Ally moved in. I can't believe how lucky I am to be the one who rolls over each morning and gets to see Allys beautiful face, the one who gets to hold her when she has a bad dream, the one who gets to kiss her good night. Of course my parents were sceptical when Ally first moved in making me sleep on the couch, but they trust us, and the fact that Allys pregnant softened my parents' thoughts, they know I truly love her and would never take advantage.

Ally's still sleeping. I quietly slowly reach for my phone as not to wake her. I wince as my phone makes a sudden noise as I unlock it, I look over Ally stirs a little but remains fast asleep, I breathe out with relief. I googled the cost of raising a child, panic shocked though my veins, and dug into my sole. I already love this child with my whole heart I will do everything in my power to give him or her the best life possible, to do this I need to give up school, give up my music career and get a full time job. Allys unemployed and we can't parasite of my parents for the rest of my life, and the money from my short lived album won't last forever, we need money for our child, and we need it now.

"Austin?" Ally said half asleep rolling over and resting her head on my chest, I stoked her hair "Morning beautiful"

/

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR QUITTING EVERYTHING?!" Ally screamed at me her small face glowing with rage, her stomach bulging under her baggy sweater, arms franticly waving around.

"Als, calm down. It's ok. I need to get a full time job to support you and the baby; we can't do this without a full income." I explained trying to get Ally to relax.

Ally collapsed on the bed her hands gently resting on her swollen stomach.

"Austin, I can't, I won't let you give up on your dream!" She said lifting herself up to her feet pacing the bedroom.

"Als, music may be my dream, but you are my reality and I care so much more your you and this little one more than anything else on this small planet" I said rubbing her stomach and looking directly into her stubborn eyes.

Ally broke my glance turning her head I knew she was fighting the urge to agree with me.

"No, Austin. I'm not going to ruin your life take away your ambition, and bulldoze your dreams because of a mistake I made." Ally said her eyes dripping in quilt and concern her necklace running in and out of her slender fingers "Pursue music Austin, stay in school" Ally begged.

"Ally. This wasn't your mistake" I said rubbing her arm gently "This is our mistake. We are just as responsible as each other. I love this child with every ounce of my being" I explained placing my hand on her stomach. "There is nothing, and I mean nothing that I wouldn't give up to give this little one the best life possible, this is just one of those things"

"Austin. Get a job, give up school if you want, get a part time job, but promise me. Promise me, you won't give up on music, please Austin, music is your destiny, it's your dream and you can't give up." Ally begged, thumping me on the chest.

"I promise."

-{Ally}-

"Eugh Trrrish! Nothing fits" I moaned to my best friend sitting on the end of Austin's bed as I threw clothes all over the room like a maniac.

"Come on Ally I think its well and truly time for you to by some maternity clothes" Trish said eyeing up my pregnancy bump; it really is getting large for 17 weeks.

"I have no money" I whined feeling like an annoying child throwing a tantrum and stomping my feet.

"Als," Trish held my shoulders and looked me in the eye "Snap out of it" She snapped her fingers in my face.

"I have money, and you have a birthday coming up, and if a best friend can't get her best friend some clothes for her birthday when said best friend obviously need new clothes, and her birthday is coming up, then what kind of best friend would that be?" Trish explained at the speed of light.

"Umm, I think I understand" I said laughing I missed hanging out with Trish, but since moving in with Austin everything has been a bit crazy.

/

"Now Ally, this is caaa-uuute! And totally you!" Trish exclaimed excitedly holding up a pink zebra print top with a lose middle for a pregnancy bump.

"No" I chuckled "That's totally you! Come on I want to try on these" I said carrying a mountain high pile of clothes hanging over my left arm.

"Okaaaay" Trish dragged on with disappointment as I forcibly yanked her with my free arm to the tall changing rooms at the back of the maternity store.

Wow I thought to myself staring at the mirror. These jeans are unbelievably comfortable. I pinged the stretchy elastic band that sat just above my belly button. I turned and checked myself out, I looked good I don't know why I was so apprehensive about wearing maternity clothes they look really good. Maybe it's just coming to terms with the whole pregnancy thing, I've had the tests, and the ultrasounds, the fights, the tears but it's only now that I truly look pregnant. I look down at my stomach it's become a handy arm rest over these last few weeks, I'm not huge but I'm not small either and I'm only gonna get bigger from here.

"Woah" I called out losing my balance interrupting me from my train of thought.

"Ally? Are you ok? Can I come in? I heard a crash" Trish asked deep concern in her voice franticly knocking on the changing room door.

"I'm fine, really, just a bit dizzy" I opened the door letting Trish in to the cubical. "have been getting some dizzy spells these last few days, its nothing"

"You don't look fine, maybe you should see a doctor" Trish said with a worried look on her face.

"Excuse me?" A pregnant blonde woman in her late twenties asked "I couldn't help but overhear for the next cubical, you're feeling dizzy are you in your fifth month?"

"Yes" I answered sitting on the small stool in the corner of the changing room the room spinning slightly.

"Don't stress about the dizziness sweetie" The woman smiled a warm smile "Your centre of gravity is shifting, it can cause dizziness. Usually it doesn't last very long but if it does take a rest. I know this is my second"

"Thanks, I actually feel fine now. I'm Ally and this is Trish" I smiled back at the kind woman.

"Jennifer, and I better be going I hope I helped" Jennifer left the maternity store. Jennifer only gave me a small tip but it was nice to talk to someone going though what I am. I love the support from Austin, Austin's parents, Trish and even Dez but I really wish I had someone that I can relate to, I really wish my mother was here. I wish she could give me some small words of wisdom, to help me though this. I stared at my shoes hoping Trish wouldn't notice that I was blinking back tears.

"Ally you're fine now?" I nodded forcing a smile with my lips "Good coz you look ah-mazing!"

I giggled at Trish but she was right these jeans look great and I love this red top and matching jacket, it makes my tiny pendent shine brightly above my fast growing breasts.

"Yeah I'm happy with it" I laughed "But god I could defiantly go for a pickle dipped in peanut butter and coated in jellybeans!" I moaned oh how I wanted that pickle

"Did somebody say they wanted a jelly bean, peanut butter pickle?" Dez exclaimed passing me the delicious looking pickle.

"Eww, Dez you just had that with you casually?" Trish screwed up her face with disgust "How did you know Ally would want that? How did you even know where we were?" Trish asked as I devoured the peanut butter, jellybean pickle.

"It's just one of my favourite snacks" Dez shrugged "Austin is out job hunting but I got bored he told me where you guys were so I came to see if you wanted to hang out"

Trish scowled at Dez, I laughed and thanked Dez for the pickle.

"Hey, if I change back into my clothes go buy these do you guys wanna go hang out at the food court I'm STARVING, and nothing would make me happier than eating a massive greasy cheeseburger and a side of cheese from cheese outta my league!"

-{Austin}-

"Hey guys!" I announced sitting between Dez and Ally at a circle metal table in the malls food court. "Guess what?"

"You brought me a platypus!" Dez jumped from his seat punching the air in excitement.

"No Dez" I laughed "I did not get you a platypus, why do you ask that every time someone says guess what?" I asked confused.

"Because one day it will be true" Dez shrugged and dug back into his fries.

"Annnnnyway" I turned to the others ignoring Dez "I got a job!"

"You did! Wow!" Ally jumped hugging me her bulging belly stuck in between us forbidding a close embrace. "That was fast! How did you find one so quick?" she asked.

"Jobs are surprisingly easy to get, Als" Trish nodded wiggling her eyebrows at Ally.

I laughed "Nah, the manager at 'Snow Globes R Us' is a big fan I walked in and she immediately gave me the job, I explained our situation and she gave me an awesome pay rise, and I haven't even started working yet" I exclaimed excitedly.

"Austin you can't use your music and our baby to get good jobs and undeserved pay rises" Ally looked at me seriously, resting her arm gently on her baby bump.

"I know, Als, but I need to get the best job possible for this little one." I explained in a soft sincere voice rubbing her stomach softly.

"Yeah, and I bet you get a pretty sweet discount on snow globes!" Dez jumped in excitement "Oooh I bet they have and awesome platypus one! Austin do you think you could get me one?" Dez asked a wide grin on his face. Ally and I laughed, Trish just rolled her eyes.

-{Ally)-

I back in doctors' chair, Austin beaming with pride at my side as Dr Stevens shows us our baby on the screen. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was laying here in this exact same spot stressing about the sound of my babies heart beat, yet it also seems like a million years ago so much has happened since my first ultra sound. I grinned at Austin, I feel so comfortable in the doctors chair now. Our babies so much bigger than it was last time it's not so much a blob but a actual little baby, with a large head and tiny little fingers. I blinked back tears as we heard the heart beat again it was so beautiful, but I didn't want to cry, crying is for being sad I'm not sad I couldn't be happier. I look up to Austin his eyes are glistening, he's trying not to cry too!

"Ally, you have a very healthy baby at 18 weeks. Do you guys want to know the sex of your baby" Dr Stevens asked grinning at me and Austin from behind her small dark framed glasses.

"YES" I practically screamed

"No" Austin said at the same time as me.

"Oh I mean no" I said "I mean Yes" Austin said simultaneously to me.

"Yes" "No" we added quickly.

I laughed and looked up to Austin, "Do you want to know?" I asked biting my lower lip slightly hoping and begging from the centre of my sole that he says yes.

"Yes! Of course!" Austin answered chuckling slightly.

"Doctor Stevens, we really want to know" I grinned at the doctor.

"If you look over here, you can see that this little baby... is a girl. Congratulations"

I felt tears crawl down my cheeks breaking free of my hold a wide smile plastered on my face wasn't going anywhere I certainly couldn't be happier.

"A daughter. I'm having a daughter. I'm going to be a dad" Austin quietly whispered. I looked up, tears had escaped him too.

**A/N; **

**Another chapter done I will update soon! But only if you promise to review ;)**

**Merrrrrrrrrrry Christmas!**

** Maria a reviewer of chapter 1. I just saw your review! Guess what?! I was born in Tauranga now living in Kerikeri I love Tauranga soooooooo much! Glad to see I have NZ readers**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N; **_*sad face* so it's really hot, I'm on holiday, and I'm sick! I can't find the energy to do anything but I do have a laptop, word and internet access so, my sickness is great for my readers! Speaking of readers there has been SO MANY I never ever would have dreamed to have so many, and from all over the world, thanks to every single one of you! Enjoy chapter 6_

**_So last chapter you found out Austin and Ally are expecting a girl I have had a few name suggestions but please tell me your name ideas!_**

**Disclaimer; **_I do not own Austin and Ally but I do own this story ;) _

**Chapter 6- The Fighter {22 weeks pregnant}**

-{Ally}-

"Austin" I groan. I glance at the glowing digital clock next to him on the bed side table screaming 3:53 am in my face. I'm lying on my back because the stupid baby won't let me sleep any other way. Every time I get relaxed falling into the sweet slumber that I crave so much, my legs undermine me and shake my entire body, forcing me back into the life of a night owl.

"Austin" I practically scream thumping him hard with my foot.

"Mmm..." He groaned rolled over and went back to sleep on his bare stomach cradling his pillow in his arms. 'Useless' I thought.

"Austin! If the baby won't stop wriggling and keeps me awake, she's keeping you up too!" I explained sitting up in the bed, well the equivalent of sitting up when you're six months pregnant. I kicked him again.

"Okaaaay" Austin mumbled into his pillow slowly stretching under the bed covers.

"Good coz I'm starving!"

Austin laughed although he was half asleep.

"Pancakes?" He asked looking up into my eyes still lying on his stomach. His hazel eyes make me melt like an ice block on a summer's day.

"Yeah, do we have tuna? Tuna pancakes sounds ammmmmmazing right now!" I said the thought of tuna pancakes making me drool a little. These pregnancy cravings were getting weirder and weirder.

Austin scrunched up his face in disgust "You can have tuna; I'm having butter and maple syrup!"

"Maple syrup" I gagged. Even the thought of the sweet sugary syrup made me want to barf "Just keep that away from me!"

"If you keep the tuna away from me we have a deal" Austin laughed.

"Woah!" I gripped my stomach, my jaw dropped in shock. I just experienced the weirdest sensation, the baby is no longer twisting and turning it feels like she really kicked me with her tiny feet. I was being beaten up from the inside out.

"Woah" She did it again.

"Allygator? What's wrong?" Austin's eyes were swollen with concern and love.

"Nothing! Nothing at all" I pulled up my shirt exposing my round belly and pulled Austin's hand to my stomach.

"Woah!" Austin jumped in shock, now sitting on his knees. I laughed.

"If you thought that was weird you should have felt it from my point of view!" I chuckled, we both had our hands on my stomach waiting for our daughter to make her next attack.

"This is amazing!" Austin exclaimed in excitement "She's going to be a fighter with these strong legs" I giggled in agreement.

"Noooow can we have pancakes" I begged "I think that's why she's kicking so much, she's starving!" We hopped off to the kitchen and made the first of many 4am pancake batches.

/

"Omg! There is a little warrior inside of you!" Trishs face lit up in excitement her hand resting on my now huge stomach, there was defiantly no hiding my pregnancy anymore.

I giggled sitting at a metal table in the mall food court sipping a mango smoothie.

"Here comes Dez!" I wiggled my eyebrows at Trish, there is defiantly something going on there, but Trish won't have a bar of it.

"Hey guys, woah Ally when did you get so fat?" Trish glared at him as he sat down I just laughed I loved hanging out with Dez.

"She's pregnant you imbecile" Trish snapped at Dez, then going back to sipping on her soda.

"I know that!" Dez shrugged happily at Trish "You have gotten bigger Ally, don't be insulted" He said to me.

"I'm not" I giggled "I have gotten so huge recently, but that's good! She's kicking, feel!" I reached for Dezs hand and placed it on my belly.

"Wow!" Dezs' eyes widened in amazement "Looks like she's got Austin's dance moves!"

"Look guys" I heard a familiar voice from behind me that made me cringe "It's Allllllly" the girl dragged out. "The whore that, that wannabe rock star Austin Moon got pregnant!" Cassidy and her friends laughed tauntingly.

Trish glared at Cassidy with piercing eyes that could make Chuck Norris break down into a little girl. Cassidy stared back with a look that could kill Voldermort in one shot. Cassidy's clones lined up beside her with equal looks upon their fake faces, plastered with makeup. I stayed in my seat not making any comments, not making eye contact. This happened enough over the last few months, I have learnt that it's better to just ignore them. Dez looked more agitated than I have ever seen him, Dez was weird, but also well liked he had never been bullied and I could tell but the way he was rubbing his wrists this was making him uncomfortable. Trish was the strongest, be for I knew it she was out of her seat standing in front of Cassidy their eyes never left each others, eye contact you couldn't cut with a knife. Trish was angry.

"A whore." Trish pondered surprisingly calm "By definition a woman who sells themselves. Hmm... I don't think Ally walks around in dress' that only just covers her ass and boobs asking for money for sex. Whores get abortions so they can keep working the street. Ally obviously hasn't aborted. Hmm... let me think the only person here who is wearing a dress too short to be classed as a t-shirt, is known for sleeping with lots of guys, and has never had a baby, but has been pregnant before. Hmm... Oh yeah that was YOU Cassidy." Trishs' eyes narrowed and pointed at Cassidy "And your fucking clones aren't that much better" Trish eyed up and down Cassidys 3 friends in disgust. "The next time you try and accuse my best friend of being something as foul as you, remember I'm not going to be as nice as I was today."

With that Trish stormed back to Dez and me and planted herself in back in her chair cursing under her breath. I looked at Cassidy, her jaw was dropped, she was silenced not a single word slipped her perfectly lipsticked lips; her cheeks were bright red same shade as her lips. Cassidy flicked her long blonde hair behind her turned and left her lemmings followed along behind her. *** **A smile curled on my lips happy to see how defeated that horrible girl was.

"Trish that was amazing!" Dez said was astonished at Trishs' fire and courage. So was I.

My treble clef necklace ran though my fingers, while my other arm rested on my stomach.

"Thank you Trish" I smiled

"Not a problem, no one talks to my best friend like that and I mean NO ONE" Trish replied getting the last of her anger out.

"I want to hug you but its kind hard for me to lean over" I laughed, a big grin on my face.

Trish got up and hugged me close.

"GROUP HUG" Dez announced pouncing on the two of us. I giggled wrapping my arms around the both of them, Trish grumbled at Dez.

I pulled my phone from my pocket. 2:44 pm it read.

"Austin finishes work in fifteen minutes do you guys wanna come with me to his work before he finishes?" I asked Dez and Trish.

I linked arms with Trish and all three of us, well four if you include the baby headed to 'Snow Globes R US.'

-{Austin}-

I glanced at the clock on the wall of 'Snow Globes R Us' the big hand rested on the 9 and the small hand making its way to the 3.

"Yay" I said aloud to myself.

"What was that?" Jonty a man in his early twenties, my co-worker called from the stockroom.

"Nothing" I called back from the counter. Only fifteen minutes until I get to leave and see my beautiful girlfriend.

I looked up from my music magazine when I heard a ding, indicating that someone had arrived into the store.

I smiled widely recognising the three faces staring back at me.

"Dez! Ally! Trish!" I shouted excitedly "What are you doing here?" I jumped over the counter, carefully as not to knock over our new range of insect snow globes and hugged Ally.

"Oooh, a bacon snow globe!" Dez left the group admiring a snow globe with dancing bacon wearing top hats.

"I wanted to see you! I couldn't wait another ten minutes!" Ally tippy toed and placed a kiss on my lips; I leaned down and kissed her properly.

"Ahem" Trish and Jonty said at the same time.

"We still exist remember?" Trish said with a laugh.

"And you still have ten minutes of work to do, I ain't picking up your slack I barely do my own work!" Jonty added heading back into the stock room most likely to smoke and pretend to work.

I rolled my eyes; I could see Ally's cheeks were burning red.

"Go have a look around the store, I'll pretend to work for ten minutes and we can go" I said waving my arm around the large shop snow globes on every shelf heading up right up to the ceiling, and pecked Ally on the cheek.

I jumped back over the counter as Trish and Ally linked arms and joined Dez. Even though I have a job that requires me to dust thousands of glass ornaments and talk to strange collectors each day, I couldn't be happier. I have 4 of the best friends in the entire world, one of them being my stunningly beautiful girlfriend who in a few months will bring our daughter in the world. How lucky am I?

/

"Als, I almost forgot!" I reached into my backpack that I take to work with me "For you" I handed Ally a small snow globe.

Ally smiled as she analysed the snow globe. "It's beautiful"

It really was, the snow globe had a photo of Ally and I together looking into each other's eyes laughing, Allys necklace shining in the light, and both our hands rested on Allys pregnant belly. It's my favourite photo of us, we weren't even posing Trish snapped the picture a week ago to in her words 'show us how sicklingly cute we are together' and I have to admit Trish is right. Actually Trish is almost always right, but I will never say that to her face.

Ally tipped the snow globe upside down "Ah... Austin? There's no snow in our snow globe"

"Yeah..." I began "I got giving a free photo from my boss, remember the woman that loves my music, yeah the catch was it was faulty." I laughed.

"Oh. Well it still looks beautiful!" Ally smiled placing the snow globe on her bedside table "Thank you" she kissed me.

-{Ally}-

'I'm so bored' I thought to myself lying on my back on mine and Austin's bed my hands caressing my belly wishing the baby would hurry up and get out so I could play with her. Austin was at work and Mimi and Mike were filming a new mattress kingdom commercial. I wonder what Trish is doing I hope she's not working. I reached for my phone, and at 23 weeks pregnant that's not an easy task. 'Yay' I thought to myself I had 2 texts from Trish 3 from Austin and 1 from Des 'I am loved'.

Trish isn't working! I left the Moon household and headed for the Mall of Miami, where Trish and I are going to see a movie, hopefully it's not Zaliens!

/

Trish and I strolled around the shops killing time before the new Jennifer Aniston movie opened.

"Oh maybe we should go this way" Trish said nervously and began to turn around.

"No that's ok Trish, I'm going to have to face it someday" I glanced at Sonic Boom my ex absolute favourite place to hang out. I thought seeing Sonic Boom would have no effect on me. But then then the memories hit me like a punch to the gut. Working at the counter, chatting to Dez, Trish and Austin, writing songs at the piano in the practice room, Austin teaching me to dance, sitting close to Austin at the piano, hearing Austin sing, Austin trying to help me get over my stage fright, the kangaroo, videos for the internet, my mom, and that night before I left for New York.

I tried to stay strong and move along to the next store. But I forced myself to stay glued to the floor in front of Sonic Boom in fear that I might walk in, and face my father. I want to go in so bad. I fought my tears; I don't need to cry over this. I have Austin, my friends and my baby. Yet something was still missing a puzzle piece of my heart was lost, just looking at Sonic Boom made me realise that not only is the piece that belonged to my mom was gone but many puzzle pieces were missing. I thought that the baby and Austins family filled those gaps but they only made my puzzle bigger, but there is a big hole in the middle and as much as I don't want it, I need it, I need my father, I need my music and Sonic Boom. I clenched my hands and closed my eyes tight turning around.

"You're right Trish lets go" Trish pulled me close to her.

"It's ok to miss him Ally." Trish whispered. I did miss him, I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it love my dad.

"Ally wait" A familiar kind voice called from behind me.

"Dad?" I asked tears flowing from my eyes, I grabbed hold of Trish, forcing myself not to hug my father.

"Ally, honey. I know you probably don't want to see me or hear me out but please listen to me" I motioned in agreement when Trish asked to leave us alone for a while.

I breathed in. "Why should I" It was killing me that I couldn't tell him everything I was thinking.

"I am so sorry. I was such a jerk. I love you Ally you are my world, you are my only daughter, my only child." My father looked sincere his eyes were kind and gentle, he looked so lost, it reminded me of when we lost mom. Dad was so broken; I did all I could to stay strong and stop him from falling to pieces although I felt I could fall to my knees and disintegrate with sadness. I hated seeing my father so upset; I can't do that to him again.

"Please Ally come home, I will support you, you have no idea what it's like to lose your daughter"

I felt my belly, I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my daughter I love her with all I have, if I lost her I would die, and she's not even born yet.

"I'm having a girl" I smiled shyly at my father. He smiled back at me.

"I bet she will be just as beautiful as you and your mother" I felt a lump grow in my throat when he mentioned my mom.

"I want you to be I'm mine and her lives, but dad I can't move back in. Mimi and Mike are so good to Austin and I, they are letting my stay until school is over then me and Austin are getting our own place." I explained.

"I understand, I wouldn't want to live with me either I was such a jerk. I'm sorry, I just wanted you to have a good life, and I now understand I was wrong." I pulled my father in for a hug.

"It's not you dad, I'm just thinking of baby now, she's number one" I said into his ear.

"I want to be involved, do you need money? I can give you your job back, with a promotion" My dad said eagerly.

I laughed "I can't really work at the moment"

"Yes but you can go on maternity leave" My dad added hugging me again.

"I love you daddy" I whispered.

"I love you too baby girl" He whispered back.

"Let's get lunch I have so much to tell you!" I smiled I could feel the puzzle pieces of my heart being filled again.

"What about Trish?" Dad asked

"Don't worry about it" I grinned laughing with my dad; I can't believe how much I missed him. I truly love my father, the baby kicked rapidly in agreement.

**A/N; * If you don't know what lemmings are I am worried about your video game education, it's my favourite video game look it up if you don't know what it is.**

**I kinda really love this chapter what do you think review! And don't forget your name suggestions!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N;**_ Other chapter for you please keep the baby name suggestions coming in I have a few good ones in mind but please keep them coming it really helps :) I was going to update sooner but then me and my best friend wound up having a Greys Anatomy/Private Practice marathon ooooommmg I love Greys!_

**Disclaimer; **_I don't own Austin and Ally_

**Chapter 7- Sing ****_Without You_**** {31 weeks pregnant}**

-{Ally}-

I giggled as Austin sang softly to the baby inside me. Austin often sang to our unborn daughter, he sang everything and anything, his favourites are 'Isn't she lovely' by Stevie Wonder, 'Never Grow Up' by Taylor Swift, and 'Lullaby' by Billy Joel. Although she's not born yet I can tell she loves it she wriggles more when Austin sings to her, it feels like a butterfly fluttering in my belly. She kicks the most when Austin sings songs I wrote for him, she squirms with delight, it's like she knows the songs are half her mother and half her father just like her. My heart skips a beat when ever Austin sings 'Without you' it reminds me of the night of his album release, the night our girl was pulled into this world. I think the baby knows the significance of the song she twists and turns and kicks, she must be happy in the little home she's made inside of me.

"Sing _Without You"_ I smiled sitting on the couch with Austin. "It's her favourite"

"You don't know that!" Austin chuckled slightly.

"I do so!" I laughed hitting Austin on the head with a couch cushion.

"Austin" I started quietly my face solemn "I meant every word in that song. There is defiantly no way I could do this without you" I caressed my bulging belly; I have gotten so huge over recent weeks. I looked up into Austins caring eyes.

"I know Als, and you know I could never do anything without you, not even tie my shoes" Austin laughed kissing me softly on the lips as his strong arm reached behind my back cupping my waist pulling me as close as our baby would let us.

Austin sang to the baby and I felt asleep slumped on the couch my head resting in the crook of Austins neck where it fit so perfectly.

/

"Eugh, being pregnant sucks!" I waddled into the lounge my back resting on my hand and plonked myself on the couch next to Dez. Dez and Trish have come over to hang out at Austins for the day.

"Yeah but Als you look radiant, you have the pregnancy glow going on" Trish complimented me from the armchair a smile plastered on her face, Dez and Austin nodded in agreement.

I glared at Trish "It's not pregnancy glow! It's sweat! You try lugging around an extra 25 pounds 24/7 and vomiting every morning you'll have the glow too!" I snapped not accepting the compliment.

"GET OUT" I shouted to the baby.

"Als, your 31 weeks it's not long now" Austin said reassuringly sitting himself next to me, gripping my hand and holding it close to him.

I pulled my hand quickly from his grasp "You can talk you don't do have to carry around a baby in your uterus for another 9 weeks!" I grumbled folding my arm, staring at Austin with beady eyes.

I noticed Austin mouthing 'mood swings' to the others and Dez and Trish nodded in realisation.

"I do not have mood swings!" I yelled at Austin "If I could get up and leave I would! But I can't because yoooou" I pointed at Austin giving him the evils "made me pregnant!"

"Sooo Austin I made a new video for my film making class, it stars Trish wanna check it out up stairs?" Dez asked Austin eagerly, Austin immediately agreed and ran up the stairs.

"I got fired from the wrapping paper station at the mall today" Trish shyly tried to start conversation.

"You got fired?" My face softened and I rose my eyebrows in sadness tears shot from my eyes "How could they fire you" I said between sobs "You're such a wonderful person you don't deserve this!"

Trish moved and sat next to me she hugged me close.

"Ally, I get fired almost every day, its ok. Remember the time I got fired twice in one day!" Trish laughed.

I laughed. I laughed so hard that my tears of sadness morphed into tears of laughter, just me and my best friend Trish laughing like maniacs like when we were kids.

The laughter died down and I looked at Trish again tears feel from my eyes again sadness overtook my body. I collapsed on Trish wrapping my arms around her she wrapped hers around me. I peeled myself from her wiping my tears and forcing a smile.

"I'm going to miss this Trish" I confessed.

"Miss what Als" Trish asked confused.

"Just the two of us hanging out being normal teenage girls laughing at nothing" I rubbed my belly feeling the baby kick under my hand. "It just won't be the same, I will have a baby, and an Austin it won't ever be just you and me"

"Als, we are BEST friends we will hang out all the time! Sure you will have a baby but that won't affect our friendship we have a bond that's been there for over ten years we can only get stronger" Trish smiled reassuringly.

She was right of course how I could ever think that anything would damage our friendship! Especially a baby that I am sure Trish loves just as much as Austin and I.

I laughed "Maybe I have had a few mood swings recently"

"You don't say" Trish and I laughed together, the laughter that made me believe this friendship is forever.

-{Austin}-

"I love you Ally" I said as I crawled into bed beside her. Ally looked beautiful sitting up in bed, her dark hair flowing and resting gently on her shoulders; she was reading a book of baby names.

"I know you do" Ally placed the book on her round belly "And you know what? I love you too!" I kissed Ally passionately on the lips, she kissed me back. She kisses so well she could be a professional.

We never went any further than kissing these days ever since Ally got heavily pregnant, Ally has been too tired to be up to it and to be honest I don't like the idea of me interrupting the baby's space. But kissing is perfect; it's everything I could ever want.

"Found any good names?" I asked sitting up beside Ally pulling the duvet up onto my legs.

"Well there's a few I like I don't want to decide on anything just yet" Ally shrugged placing the book on her bedside table and snuggling beside me resting her head in the crook of my neck. I rested my head on hers and wrapped my arms around her previously tiny body keeping her and the baby close to me.

We sat there for a while. It was silent but our pure love was loud enough to be heard for miles our arms and fingers intertwined. I listen to Ally's rhythmic heartbeat singing a song that can only be heard me. I feel for the baby kicking at the same rhythm as her mother's heart beat. I closed my eyes enjoying the moment knowing that in a few short weeks Ally and I will crave silence.

A few quick thuds on the bedroom door abruptly force my eyes open, Ally quickly breaks our close embrace picking up the baby name book on the bedside table.

"AUSSSSSSSSSTY, ALLLLLLY" Jessie my little sister yells from the hallway "Can I come in"

I looked at Ally who shrugged and nodded her head.

"Sure miss glitter pants come in" I called back.

The door flung open immediately. I jumped startled as the 7 year old flew at me landing right in the middle between Ally and I. She has long curly blonde hair that nearly reaches her butt, and she was wearing matching pink flannel pyjamas with tiaras all over them. I gave her the biggest bear hug she giggled in my arms Ally chuckled watching the two of us.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" I asked putting a comically serious face. She cheekily grinned at me.

"Yes, but I have a secret" Jessie said looking adorable with her huge blue eyes twinkling, reaching for Ally's baby bump. Jessie loved feeling the baby kick she's very excited to be an Aunt.

"A secret huh?" Ally asked wiggling her eyebrows at the little blonde girl. "Well I'm sure me and Austin will be able to keep a secret, but I'm not sure about the baby though"

Jessie laughed grinning showing off her white teeth "The baby can't talk yet!" She exclaimed jumping on the bed.

"Oh but she can" I laughed "Go on what's your secret?" I asked Jessie pulling her down and sitting her between Ally and I.

"Well" Jessie started "I'm going to have a baby! Just like Ally" Jessie exclaimed excitedly.

I looked at Ally in shock. What did my seven year old sister just say? Does she even know how that happens?

"Jessie, sweetie. How did this happen?" Ally stroked Jessie's golden hair.

"Same as you and Austin. I asked mommy and daddy how you got a baby in you and they said that a boy gives a girl a seed and the boy and girl wish for a baby and the seed grows a baby in the girls tummy. I told my friend Max how to make a baby so he gave me a seed we made a wish so now I'm going to have a baby!" Jessie beamed in excitement.

"Jessie, what kind of seed did Max give you?" I asked my older brother protectiveness kicked in putting real concern into this ridiculous conversation.

"Orange seed" Jessie shrugged "I put it under my pillow" She grinned.

I laughed and so did Ally.

"Why are you laughing?" Jessie said folding her arms in a huff.

"Jessie, honey. That's not how you make a baby" Ally explained in a calm soothing voice moving hair from Jessie's face, she's going to make a great mom. "A baby is made when the boy is in LOVE with the girl and he goes to a special dad shop and buys a special baby seed not just any seed."

"Oh" Jessie dropped her arms "Can Max go to the special shop? He loves me"

I chuckled. "Sorry Jessie you have to be a lot older!" I grinned at her giving her a brotherly squeeze.

"Give me a hug Jessie girl, then you better go to bed or you mommy and daddy won't be happy" Ally told her Jessie squeezed Ally and whispered good night to Ally's belly.

"So I won't get a baby?" Jessie asked tilting her head standing on the bed. Ally and I shook our heads "Ok, I still have my dollies" she hopped of the bed "Good night!"

"Hey! Jessie where's my cuddle" I dropped my lip trying to look sad. She rushed to me hugging me tight and ran out of the room.

"Well that was adorably hilarious!" Ally laughed snuggling back into my body.

"You are going to make a fantastic Mom" I kissed Ally forehead.

"Woah! What's that?" I asked Ally shocked as Ally stomach made weird jumping movements.

"The baby has hiccups!" Ally laughed at me. She looked beautiful her eyes curved bright teeth showing as she made the harmonic laugh that caused my heart to skip a beat.

"Oh" I sighed "What does it feel like" lying down in the bed.

"It's hard to explain, it's like springs bouncing in my stomach. It's nice; it's reassuring knowing that she's having fun in there. I can't wait to see her."

"Neither can I" I smiled and with that we fell asleep our bodies intertwined my hands on her belly letting the baby know that I'm here, and I always will be.

-{Ally}-

I gasped loudly as shot up in the bed Austin sleeping soundly beside me snoring slightly. I was ripped from slumber with a wild pain in my uterus. My heart raced I quickly place my hands on my belly, the baby was unusually still, tears began to well in my eyes. A small kick on the palm of my hand slowed my heart rate; I felt her flutter like a butterfly shifting within her little home. I let out a sigh of relief. I felt something wet and sticky beneath me, it was disgusting, the texture of slime. I lifted the blankets. My heart was sent into over drive as shock and worry shot though me from the tip of my toes to my head. Blood. Blood stained my pink pyjama pants seeping through to the sheets, I was sitting in a sticky oozy puddle.

"A-Austin" I thumped Austin on the back as hard as I could "Get up"

"I'm not making pancakes today" Austin mumbled rolling over.

"No, something's wrong, something's wrong with the baby" I said with a lump in my throat sniffing holding back my sobs.

Austin shot up if face struck with concern.

"What do you mean?" I felt Austin cradle me in his strong muscular arms as tears blurred my vision.

I broke from his embrace "Look" I showed him the blood "I'm bleeding heavily from umm... you know where the baby is..." I informed him nervously.

Austin hopped out of bed pulled on a shirt covering his bare chest.

"I'll get my mom she will help get you cleaned up then we're going to the hospital" Austin took charge changing from green pyjama pants into his skinny jeans.

"Okay" I breathed wiping away tears on my arm.

Within minutes Mimi rushed into the bedroom with a blonde birds nest sitting on the top of her head a floor length robe covering her blue nighty. I could hear Austin and his dad fuss about down stairs working out the cars and medical insurance and franticly calling my father. I could also hear a sleepy Jessie wondering what all the fuss was about. I gripped my stomach as Mimi helped clean me up and get me into fresh clothes. I put on black shorts under a short black dress to disguise any blood and to avoid humiliation.

I got dressed and sat in the car absent minded. I didn't care about getting embarrassed my only concern was my baby girl. I griped my treble clef necklace with my right hand my left hand desperately clinging to my stomach hoping that it will save her. She was still moving but there was doubt in my mind that kept creeping to the front of my brain although I pushed it back as hard as I could. If my girl doesn't make it I have nothing.

I felt Austin reach for my hand I dropped my necklace and intertwined my fingers with his. I turned from the window of silhouettes and twinkling lights and at Austin's grief stricken face. He looked like he had just seen a ghost. The car was silent nobody wanted to mention the elephant in the room. The anxious vibe was evident in the atmosphere. Mike kept his eyes on the road. Mimi sat staring out the window in front of me looked back every so often worry so evident in her bright blue eyes weren't so blue today. Even little Jessie sat slumped on the window seat was asleep.

My eyes lassoed Austin's. Austin leaded in and whispered "It's going to be ok, I love you and always will"

I let out a bleak smile I believed him. He squeezed my hand. Maybe I won't have nothing if I lose my baby I have Austin.

"I know. I love you too" I whispered as Austin gently kissed my forehead. I love it when he does that.

/

I woke in a hospital bed white sheets and a backless gown covering my body and large baby bump. I had a plastic band with my name and details on it and a drip attached to my hand. Austin was slumped on a hospital chair at my side his mouth open drool dripping from the corner of his mouth.

I can remember almost everything that happened since I found the blood but it's now a blur of tests and doctors, I was so tired I was knocked out as soon as my head hit the hospital pillow.

"Austin?" I asked pulling myself up.

Startled Austin let out a loud gasp.

"Ally" Austin's eyes widened in delight "You're awake!"

"You say that like I have been in a coma for 3 years" I laughed "Wait, I haven't have I?" I asked suddenly worried.

"No" Austin laughed checking the time on his phone "No about 6 hours that's all" He smiled widely at me.

"Austin? Is the baby ok?" I asked nervously.

Austin placed his hand on my looking directly into my eyes.

"All the doctor told me is that she is going to be fine and that you will be fine, she can't tell us anything else until you were awake" Austin stroked my hair reassuringly.

"Ally you're awake" A tall perky blonde woman in her late thirties waltzed in carrying a clipboard.

"Y-yes. Who are you?" I asked gingerly.

"Oh sorry, I guess everything was a little rushed late last night, I'm Doctor Henry I have been treating you" the woman smiled sweetly making me feel reassured that everything was fine.

"So can you tell us what's wrong?" Austin asked.

"Yes, umm... you may want to sit down" my heart raced, they lied not everything is fine, somethings wrong, something's very wrong.

Doctor Henry sat at my bedside opposite Austin.

"Ally," Doctor Henry breathed "You have Placenta Pervia"

"W-what does that mean?" tears welled in my eyes squeezing Austin's hand, Austin kissed my hand softly.

"Well in simple terms the placenta has moved and attached to the uterine wall and is covering the cervix opening, this leaves no way for the baby to get out naturally" panic shot though me "It causes bleeding which in your case can severe. It can also affect the babies' growth"

"Wait if Ally can't deliver naturally does this mean..." Austin began, Dr. Henry nodded.

"Ally, you will have to deliver via caesarean section and soon"

"Soon? How soon? I'm only 32 weeks the baby isn't full term yet?" I asked stress getting to me my necklace running though my fingers.

"As soon as tonight." Doctor Henry nodded a look of concern on her face. "I know you may be worried about your baby being born so early and it is a risk but with the Placenta Pervia and your strangely shaped uterus it's much safer for her to be born today than to continue to grow in your uterus. It's just too dangerous; she could grow too to even fit."

"We are having the baby tonight" Austin asked confused squeezing my hand hard in his.

"Yes, it's the safest option"

**A/N; Ahhh drama! Babies being born so I need name suggestions!**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter it had a bit of stalling to get to the big story but I kinda like seeing Allys relationship with Trish and Austins relationship with his little sister**

**Keep the reviews coming it really makes my day**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N; **_So I got sent an anonymous message asking how I know so much about babies and birth doctor stuff. Well the answer is I watch too much television! I get information from _16 and Pregnant_, _One Born EveryMinute, Grey's Anatomy, and Private Practice, _I google anything else I need information on like the Placenta Pervia condition I found out about that on_ One Born Every Minute _and I googled extra information to get more facts. True answer I have too much time on my hands and I'm a geek ;)_

Please let me know your favourite of names

**Aria**

**Harper**

**Piper**

**Ella**

**Melody**

_Sorry for mumbling on for a bit but you know, feel free to ask me questions I will answer them! Enjoy Chapter 8_

**Disclaimer; **_I do not own Austin and Ally._

**Chapter 8 – She's Beautiful **

-{Austin}-

I pull on set of blue scrubs. I get forced into a plastic hat similar to a shower cap encasing my blonde mop of hair. I have to put on these weird plastic shoes over my shoes a smaller version than the one on my head. I look up in the mirror of the hospital changing room and see my pale face; there is no hiding the fear in my hazel eyes. I slap my cheeks bringing colour to my face I can't let Ally see how afraid I am I need to be strong for her.

I'm given a quick smile of support from my mother and father and a reassuring pat on the back from Lester, Ally's father as I am escorted into the operating room by a nurse wearing a matching outfit as me. Ally looks so small and frightened laying on the operating table a shower cap disguising her beautiful long brown hair.

"Austin" Ally breathed her eyes brightened as they met mine.

I rushed to Ally's side grabbing hold of her hand.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here immediately, but I'm here now." I kissed her forehead.

"Have they started yet? I can't feel a thing" Ally whispered.

"No they haven't just yet. Don't worry everything is going to be fine" I flashed a reassuring smile trying to look as convincing as possible.

I had no idea if everything was going to be ok. My heart raced faster than a cheetah in the wild. Ally gripping my hand was just as much a comfort to me as it is for her. The whole atmosphere was terrifying. The risks for the baby and for Ally circled my brain refusing to be pushed out though my ears taunting me. Mocking me, reminding me that there is nothing I can do. I feel so helpless, everything is out of my control, and it makes me angry this is my baby I need to make sure she's safe but I can't.

I breathe I can't let my emotions leak from my brain to my face. I can't crack and let Ally know how afraid I am, she needs me. My heart aches as Ally bites her lower lip, her right hand desperately searching for her missing necklace. She looks so innocent, too young to be tossed into this whirlwind situation, she doesn't belong here. Ally constantly glances at me squeezing my hand. I force a smile and whisper sweet nothings to keep her strong to keep her from being scared, to get her though this.

I get a minor heart attack, I stop myself from jumping with fear as a doctor slices open Ally's stomach a line of blood chases the scalpel in his gloved hand. The doctor made me feel calm I knew Ally was in safe hands. The doctor was an elder African American man he was bald with a short stubbley beard with flickers of grey sprinkled across his face. He had deep brown eyes and crinkles at the corners of his eyes displaying his wisdom. He was so focused carefully opening up Ally's stomach his movements were all precise and calculated to perfection, I could tell he had done this a million times before. His voice was strong dripping with authority that demanded respect as he order tools from the short brunette nurse. Although I knew he was doing everything right and he was a fantastic surgeon, my heart still skipped beats as I squeezed Ally's small hand in mine.

"They've started" I whispered to Ally kissing her forehead "Everything's going to be fine"

-{Ally}-

It felt so weird. I was wide awake but half my body was completely asleep. I trusted the doctors whole heartedly, there is something about Doctor Avery his dark charming eyes shining in on his dark face and his short beard flickered with grey that made me feel like everything was going to be ok. But I was still afraid, I gave up trying to be strong hours ago it was far to tiring I gave into my emotion.

I couldn't feel it but I knew I was being sliced open. It felt like when you make your arm go numb and you run a finger up your arm, I can fell no pain. I was so nervous. I groped my neck searching for my treble clef necklace I panicked when I realised it wasn't there, I breathed a sigh of relief when I realised that I had to put it away before surgery but I still felt lost without it.

I glanced up at Austin. He was gorgeous even in hideous blue hospital scrubs. A plastic cap pulled hid Austin's golden hair; he looks so strange with no hair on his face he looked a bit like a drowned puppy with his large hazel eyes. It was Austin and Austin alone that was helping me though this. He's so strong. He smiled at me each time I caught his glance, I wanted to smile back but I couldn't fear had taken control of my body but he made he feel so much better. Relief shot though me each time he whispered words of encouragement words of support and love that made me believe I could get through this but there was no way I could have done it without him.

My eyes scanned the operating room memories of the last time I came to this hospital threatened to invade my brain. Ghosts of my past, floating around the operating table. Memories of pain and loss made their way to the surface. My eyes threatened to explode with tears. I closed my eyes tight in order to swallow my tears forcing the memories from my brain. Austin noticed my pain he stoked my face squeezing my hand tight kissing my forehead softly.

"It's ok, Ally, it's ok, I'm here I always will be" Austin whispered. His voice was poetic and beautiful evacuating the ghosts of my past from my head.

My eyes dried and heart rate slowed. I focused on Austin, the baby and the future I refused to ponder on the past or accept the present. I kept hold of Austin's eyes with my own. Looking into his eyes was an escape. I wasn't on an operating table with a thousand people fussing with my exposed body; my past never happened everything was perfect it was just me and Austin. Austin's eyes are a world full of music and intense love where nothing bad ever happens.

"Look Als, the babies here" Austin whispered looking at the baby breaking my glance tearing me from my perfect world.

"Really?" I asked softly. A cry filled my ears. My uterus felt empty. Dr Avery pulled a tiny baby of a doll from my insides; she was screaming bright pink and covered with blood.

"She's beautiful" I whispered. Everything went black.

-{Austin}-

"She's beautiful" Ally whispered.

I was mesmerised by my daughter so tiny, so perfect. My eyes couldn't leave her. A loud disturbing beeping filled my ears sending shock though my body.

"Ally? ALLY?" I asked panic rising. Ally wasn't responding. Her eyes were firmly closed her arms flimsy one resting on her chest the other hanging loosely off the side of the operating table.

My heart ached. I stepped back watching the chaos arising in the operating room. A crowd of nurses surrounded my daughter they placed a wool hat on her tiny head attaching pipes and tubes into her tiny body. It broke my heart seeing the baby being rushed into an incubator attached to so many machines; it was like she wasn't even human.

Doctors hovered around Ally and her open stomach blood everywhere. Tears welled looking at Ally's lifeless face on the operating table. The beeping won't stop. I don't know what's going on. I feel powerless. This is wrong, I'm the dad, I'm supposed to be the one who makes everything better, and I'm not supposed to be standing here. A nurse attaches a tube to Ally's mouth. Can she not breathe? Fear possessed me. What if I lose her? What if I lose both of them? Tears began to steam from my eyes, I know it's not manly but I don't care.

"Austin, do you mind stepping out of the operating room? We will come and get you when everything is over?" A kindly short brunette asked.

"Wait, what's going on?" I asked her desperately.

"I'll explain later" She replied "Please you have to leave"

"Is she going to be ok? Is Ally going to be ok? Is the baby going to be ok?" I asked in desperation walking from the room in agony.

"It's too soon to tell" With that the nurse shut the door to the operating room. I fell to the floor of the hallway tears freely streaming from my eyes my hands cradling my face.

**A/N; I'm sorry to leave it here but I have you keep you coming right? And it's quite short but I will update soon!**

**Remember to let me know your favourite names and give me a review let me know what you think. Did you cry?**

**Lots of love and Merry Christmas**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N; **_Oh god I was planning on having a few days off and go to the beach but I got quite a few reviews begging for an update and I feel guilty for giving such a dramatic cliff hanger. So before I go on and on heeeeeeeeeeres chapter 9._

**_Shout out to _****AwkkwardTree****_you are amazing so this chapters for you! (And all you other lovely readers) The name chosen for the baby was first suggested by _****AwkkwardTree****_and the name was perfect read on to find out what that name is_**

**Disclaimer; **_I do not own Austin and Ally obviously._

**Chapter 9- Flat Lining**

-{Austin}-

It smells too clean in here. I'm still in hospital scrubs but my plastic hat dangles from my finger tips my blond hair piled in a frizzy mess on the top of my head. The smooth lino floor is cold against my body. I'm still sitting here on the floor of the corridor leaning against the wall my head resting on my left hand. My tears have dried but I'm pretty sure it's because I'm dehydrated or I would be crying a river right now.

My parents and Lester tried to comfort me and take me to the waiting room their own grief wouldn't allow them to stare at the door to the operating room. I refused to leave. I sat opposite to the operating room, praying silently that Ally would walk out hug me and say everything is fine. But logic overcomes me and I remember her lifeless body cut open on the table arms limp and flopped of the side, her skin pale and ghostly. The image haunts me. I try and visualise mine, Ally's and the babies' future. But I can't. I try and think of how beautiful the baby was when I first saw her and the smile on Ally's face. But I can't. All I can see is a tiny dehumanised baby attached to tubes screaming out her little lungs pinker than a grapefruit, lying in a massive incubator surrounded but concerned nurses rush to the NCIU.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm not supposed to be helplessly sitting on the floor desperately begging to a god whose existence I don't know that everything will be ok. This can't be it for Ally she's so young, innocent and talented she was destined for greatness. I blame myself. That night I should have known a condom I brought optimistically at fourteen wouldn't work. I shouldn't have let myself fall into the temptation that is Ally. I wanted someone to punch me to tell me I'm the biggest jerk on the planet and deserve to die. If Ally dies or the baby dies, it's all my fault. It's all my fault. I should be the one on that operating table looking death in the eye waiting for horses to take me away, not Ally. I aggressively shoved my stupid plastic hat to the floor.

Why can't I do anything? I rubbed my temples in frustration. Why can't I have held Ally's hand and made her feel safe while she faces death? Why couldn't we have had a natural birth where I hold Ally's hand while she curses at me and I cut the umbilical cord? Why? Why did this happen to us? This isn't fair. My body must have found water somewhere because tears escaped my dry eyes and I aggressively wiped them away, tears aren't going to help save my girls. What can I do? I'm helpless.

"Hey man" Dez sat next to me his voice was sincere and calm, contrasting to the way Dez usually is.

"Hey" I sighed; I didn't care anymore the way I looked, puffy eyes messy hair and bright red cheeks embarrassing for any teenage boy. My looks just don't matter anymore.

"I got you a soda" Dez handed me a lemon lime and we sat in silence.

Minutes passed until I built up courage to speak.

"Dez. Punch me" I instructed my best friend.

"What?" Dez asked shocked.

"Punch me Dez, I know your capable, go on knock me out" I lifted to my feet, Dez did also.

"I'm not going to punch you your my best friend why would you even ask that?" Dez asked shock in his voice.

"I deserve it!" I explained my face growing hot. "Because of me and my selfishness, the love of my life is lying wide open on an operating table threatening to flat line. Because of my lack of self control I now have a baby that is dangerously premature and needs help to breathe!" I yell my arms waving uncontrollably.

"Austin" Dez whispered I turned away from him aggressively wiping away a tear.

"Austin" I feel a hand on my shoulder I angrily shrugged it away "You are being irrational" Dez was surprisingly level headed.

"Austin, look at me" I look up at my tall best friend he's taller than me even though I'm just about 6 foot. "You have to listen to me, I don't get serious often but I am now so listen. Yes Ally and the baby are in hospital, but they are in the best care possible I know they are going to be fine. Calm down Austin stop dwelling on the past, the past has happened you can't change it so stop killing yourself with what ifs and deal with the consequences. Getting punched in the face isn't going to help, all you can do is hope for the best and stand by Ally's side, and she needs you."

I pondered everything Dez said, he was right. I have to snap out of it but I can't stop thinking what if and it's driving me crazy. I sat back down opposite the operating room Dez sat silently next to me.

/

I shot up at the speed of light, Dez jumped to his feet too, when a nurse asked to speak to me as she exited the operating room.

"Is she ok? Is Ally ok?" I asked desperately.

"Ally is going to be ok we are just moving her to her own room. Ally lost a lot of blood during surgery and had to have a blood transfusion, don't worry she's going to be fine she's just going to need a lot of rest and stay in hospital for a while to recover while we keep an eye on her." The nurse smiled. Relief took over my body. I breathed heavily all the pain expelled from my body.

"Wait" Panic raised within me "The baby! How's my daughter? Is she ok?"

"She's fine, don't stress baby Dawson-Moon is stable and doing well in the NCIU. You can see her if you would like" The nurse smiled at me filling me with warmth and happiness.

"No, I want to see her. I really do but I can't without Ally it's not fair." I killed me that I had the opportunity to see my daughter but the vision of Ally on the operating table refused to let me see her without Ally. I couldn't do that to Ally we have to see the baby together.

"I would like to see Ally though" I said hopeful.

"Sure you can, but please don't wake her she needs her rest"

-{Ally}-

My eyes flickered open panic shot through my body not recognising where I was. Memories of the passing events shot though my brain. The fear lying on the operating table, franticly searching for my necklace, Austin's reassuring smile, his eyes taking me to a world of serenity, his musical voice making me feel safe, the ghosts of my pasts surrounding me, the empty feeling in my uterus and a beautiful squealing baby. The memories made me dizzy circling my head unsure of the order of events.

I scanned the unfamiliar room pink balloons with 'It's a Girl' plastered on it, teddy bears, cards saying congratulations and get well soon and flowers overtook the room. I felt Austin's hand on mine his blond head resting on the bed slumped forward on a red hospital chair. I used my free hand to feel my stomach. It was empty; I missed the baby fluttering inside me kicking me like a punching bag. Tears welled where is she?

I squeezed Austin's hand tight. Austin turned his head and looked at me.

"Sorry for waking you Austin" I looked at him with my best puppy dog eyes. He looked so tired big black bags under his eyes and his hair was an absolute mess.

"You didn't wake me, and you should be sorry you have nothing to be sorry about I'm so happy your ok" Austin smiled "Can I hug you?"

"Of course you can" I let out a slight laugh and curved my mouth into a small smile I was so happy to see his face. "Why would you need to ask?"

"I just don't want to hurt you you've been though a lot" he hugged me very gently. I winced slightly not realising how much my stomach hurt.

"I'm sorry" Austin bowed his head.

"Don't be" I smiled "Kiss me" Austin kissed me gently on the lips everything that happened in the last 24 hours disappeared and I was an innocent 16 year old again not a 17 year old mother after a traumatic birth.

Austin sat back next to me.

"W-what happened?" I asked nervously

"You lost a lot of blood during surgery Allygator" Austin gripped my hand "There were complications and you needed a blood transfusion, you will need to stay in hospital for a while but you will be ok. You will be fine" Austin shot me a wide smile.

"Where is everyone? Where's the baby?" I asked gingerly tracing the soon to be scar on my belly.

"Dez was here he wanted to stay but I forced him to go hope and take care of Trish she's not handling this well, she hates hearing about you in such pain" a lump formed in my throat I never wanted to make my best friend upset. "Your dad left an hour ago to go to work put plans to come back as soon as he can he was here since you were admitted to hospital. Dad went home to look after Jessie and collect your clothes and baby stuff. Mom refused to leave she's so worried about you she thinks of you as her daughter" I smiled at that I love Mimi she's like a mother to me too "She won't leave the NCIU, she's watching over our baby who is doing well, we were right she is a fighter" Austin smiled squeezing my hand.

"H-have you seen her?" I asked a croak in my voice, I need to see my baby.

"Not since you last saw her, I want to, I want to so bad but I couldn't do that to you we have to meet her properly together" Austin explained with is large hazel eyes twinkling under the hospital light. It may be selfish but I'm happy that Austin waited for me to meet our daughter I could tell it was killing him that he couldn't go and see her.

"Can we see her?" I asked.

"Let's call the nurse" Austin smiled. Excitement bubbled in my blood making me forget the pain in my abdomen.

/

"Wow. She's so tiny" I say in amazement looking at my baby lying in a big incubator. I walked here to the NCIU, I was in a little pain but I refused to use a wheelchair I'm strong. The baby looked so innocent, so small, and so perfect, despite the tubes in her mouth. She had a band on her tiny foot; the band looks like it could fall off even though it was the smallest one you can get. She wore the smallest nappy possible but it still looks so massive on her. A teddy bear sat next to her, Austin had brought it for her when she was born it is exactly the same size as her. I can't believe that 24 hours ago she was still inside of me.

"Yeah she is" Austin breathed wrapping his muscular arms around my waist from behind me.

"She was very small at birth. She was only 3 ½ pounds and 18 inches long. She is only going to need a few days in an incubator and she will need to be in the NCIU for a few weeks, but she's doing very well" A kind blonde nurse in her early thirties smiled reassuringly. "She's very beautiful"

"C-can we hold her?" I ask anxiously.

"Yes you can but only for about 5 minutes in fear of overstimulation" The nurse explained, detaching the baby from various tubes.

The nurse placed the baby in my arms I cradled her gently. She was so light, I held her close to my body keeping her warm. Having her in my arms and one of Austin's arms around my waist his hand cradling her tiny head I felt a moment of completeness. I couldn't ask for anything more. I smiled down at my little girl her eyes opened showing off beautiful blue eyes that she gained from my mother. I smiled feeling a tear fall from my eye. The baby closed her eyes and let out the cutest yawn.

"Do you want to hold her?" I whispered to Austin, not wanting to wake her. Austin nodded as l passed our daughter to him.

Austin smiled as he cradled the baby in his arms. "I love you" I heard him whisper softly to her. My lips curved into a smile.

"She needs a name" Austin said to me.

"Yeah she does. Melody." I smiled the name just came to me it fit so perfectly she has two musical parents.

"Melody" Austin smiled "I love it" He looked at the baby and smiled "She's defiantly a perfect Melody"

"Yeah she is" I stroked her head with my hand gently.

"Can her middle name be Harper?" Austin asked.

"Melody Harper." I like it "Why Harper?"

"I like it, it's musical and my grandmothers name was Harper, she was a beautiful woman" Austin smiled; I had no idea that he was sentimental.

"She has my mother's eyes" I smiled "My mom needs to be in her name"

"What was her name?" Austin asked

"Jane" Memories of my mother flooded my mind. Her smile, her big blue eyes, her singing to me when I couldn't sleep, and the ones I don't want to remember.

"Melody Harper Jane Dawson-Moon" Austin grinned

"No. Melody Harper Jane Moon" I smiled.

**A/N; BAMM that's chapter 9 and everything looks good but is it? Dun dun dun!**

**I will update soon! **

**Please review and let me know what you think!**

**Merry Xmas**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N; **_Yes I'm on holiday and yes I'm writing again. But here's chapter ten._

**Disclaimer; **_I don't own Austin&Ally_

**Chapter 10 – Tears for a Butterfly {2 days old}**

-{Austin}-

I have officially been a father for two days now. It feels like I have been a father for years and for only minutes at the same time. I'm so happy and so depressed. I haven't been home since we rushed Ally to hospital I think it was 3 days ago could have been 3 years ago it would feel the same I have barely slept, and it shows. I have big black bags under my dried out eyes, my hair is scruffy I look like I have aged ten years.

Ally sleeps a lot between visits of family and friends. She's still recovering the birth took a lot out of her more than just a baby, they took a piece of her sole. She's still beautiful even with her pale worn out face, some of the brightness has been scrubbed from her eyes, and her hair looked limp and lifeless. It will take a lot to make her not beautiful because she's still stunning.

Ally is asleep. I sit at her side holding her hand she can't sleep without me. I try to sleep too, I pretend to sleep but I can't. Visions of Melody alone tiny, innocent, and without a father to protect her in her massive incubator invaded my mind prevented sleep. She's a little angel terrified in a huge unfamiliar environment so different to her cosy small home she's used too.

I gently pull my hand from Ally's. I cringe as she stirs a little, I don't want to wake her. I pulled myself as quickly and quietly as possible. I looked back at Ally as I left the room. Ally looked so small in a big white hospital bed a drip attached to her arm. Her body made big movements with every breath. Colourful balloons, cards and teddy bears surrounded her tiny frame taking control of the room. I closed the door behind me as I entered the hallway.

I walked down the hallway a whiff of chemical cleaning products overpowered my senses. I knew the walk from Ally's room to the NCIU like the back of my hand I could walk there with my eyes closed, I effortlessly float down the corridor. I try not to be jealous as a young couple hug and laugh carrying their newborn baby in a car seat taking their baby home from the nursery. I try to fight it but I become the green eyed monster.

I walked into an arena of hope, glory and anguish. A room of babies resembling skinned rabbits, squealing and wriggling in their humidicribs. Parents stand outside with their faces pressed up against the glass, all of them look like they are about to burst into tears craving the touch of their child. I know how they feel. I walk up to my little Melody. Midwives move between the babies, they are living angels keeping babies alive.

I look at my little girl. She sleeps so soundly her little chest rising in each breath. She's so tiny, so beautiful, and so innocent. She's like a butterfly trapped under a glass bowl, begging to be let free. My heart aches when I look at her little body attached to a breathing tube. I want to hold her close, let her know she's safe, and tell her I'm always going to there for her, I'm never going to let her suffer, I'm going to let no one break her heart.

I put my arms through the arm holes in the incubator and stroke her little head, I don't touch her to much, and I don't want to wake her. Every time I touch her soft skin, I don't want to let go. I want to pull her out of the crib and take her home, steal her away and take her to Ally. But I can't. I wish I could make things better, I hate seeing her like this. I hate seeing Ally in hospital drained of life. I hate that we can't hold Melody for hours on end, I hate that Ally's arms are babyless, empty for 23 hours and 45 minutes a day. I hate that I can't do anything, I should be able to, and I'm the dad, the protector, the fixer, the one that makes everything ok. In this place I am helpless. My role is passed on to doctors. It's not like I don't appreciate everything they do but I wish I could do something, like I'm supposed to.

I pull a tiny necklace from my pocket I brought it this morning. I clasp it around the neck of Melody's little brown teddy bear. It's a tiny tremble clef a smaller version than her mommies, it has a butterfly behind it on a thin gold chain, and Melody will wear it when she gets older. Ally will be so happy when she sees the necklace when she was pregnant she always referred to Melody as her fluttering butterfly.

I smile when I notice Melody has gotten slightly bigger than her teddy bear. She's getting bigger and stronger each day. She's still so tiny and pink though. A pang of guilt shoots through my heart, I'm here, without Ally. I know Ally won't mind, but I know how much she wants to be here.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn and see my mom. I pull my hands from the incubator and my mom holds be close.

"It's ok Austin, very thing is going to be fine, stay strong" My mom whispers in my ear.

"I know" I nodded. It may be cheesy but a hug from my mom is just what I needed my strength was rebuilt.

"You need to go home, little prince, get some sleep" My mom stroked hair from my face, concern evident in her eyes.

"I can't. I can't leave them, no way, I won't go home until Ally goes home" I insisted refusing to leave.

"Sure sure, I understand, you care so much for your girls, but Austin, please take care of yourself"

"I will, I'm just not number one anymore" I told her. We both turned our attention to Melody both admiring her beauty.

-{Ally}-

Visits take all my energy. I love seeing my family and friends, and they love seeing me and Melody but when they leave exhaustion takes hold and sleep allures me temping me into a world of peace. I rest my head on my pillow my eyes snap shut. Austin stays by my side, what would I do without him? I grip his hand he rubs his thumb over the back of my hand. I breathe deeply letting sleep take me away into a whirlwind world of dreams.

A half hour passed sleep taunts me I want to get on the train to dreamland but something prevents me from doing so I can't even manage to step up to the platform. Austin's hand releases from my hand my heart sinks a little I turn and try to make him think I'm asleep. Austin moves quietly but I can still hear him I can hear him slowly leave the room. He's probably going to see Melody.

I give up on sleep. I feel for my necklace it feels so good to have it back in pride of place, I was lost without it. My heart goes out to Austin. I want to talk to him alone for hours on end like we used to but I have no energy to even say _I love you_. He's aged since our daughter was born I don't think he's had much sleep, he's so worn out. Dez told me he's cried himself dry with worry, he told me Austin feel's useless. He's not. I could not have gone through everything I have in these last 48 hours without Austin at my side. He's my escape. I wish I could tell him but whenever we are alone together the life has been sucked out of me from the visitors and I feel defeated and sleep draws me in faster than I can deny it.

I fight tears of guilt thinking of my tiny baby that rests in an incubator. I have failed her. She should be inside me growing steadily in a familiar environment. She shouldn't have to have a series of faceless nurses' fuss over her and keep her breathing, have people check her heart beat she shouldn't have to face threats of preterm disorders. She should have been born naturally in a way that wouldn't be torn from the womb shocked into the big bad world. Silent tears dripped slowly down my pale face. I've failed her. I should have given her those 9 full months.

The trauma of birth haunts me. The emptiness I felt at that first moment Melody was torn from me has remained. My fluttering butterfly was replaced by a red scar forming on my abdomen. I traced the soon to be scar feeling the stitches holding my skin together. I miss my baby she needs to be in my arms, those fifteen minutes Austin and I share isn't long enough. When she's not with me part of me is missing.

Colourful cards, balloons, presents and teddy bears of hope and good words fill the room. They tempt to curl my mouth to a smile, but a flash of Melody alone in the NCIU prevents me from being happy. I breathe heavily pushing away the guilty thoughts. But they persist and my heart races. Why couldn't I have been there at the first few moments of Melody's life? Not laying out completely knocked out on the operating table. Why couldn't I have cradled her in my arms? Not have her rushed away.

I closed my eyes my hand wrapped around my necklace. Sleep allowed me onto the train. I escaped guilt for a few hours.

**A/N; Taa Daa a bit of an insight to Austin and Ally's internal thoughts **

**Tell me what you think REVIEW :D**

**Merry Chirstmas**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N;** _Sorry I have broken my streak of posting a new chapter everyday but gah I started writing this chapter was very unhappy with it so frustrated I left it for a few days and went back to it. So anyway here is chapter 11 enjoy!_

**Disclaimer; **_I don't own Austin and Ally_

**Chapter 11 – Haunting Thoughts {2 weeks old}**

-{Austin}-

It's been a long 2 weeks. Ally's been resting and recovering, slowly redeveloping colour to her face. She's looking strong again but her eyes aren't as bright as normal. I have barely slept since we arrived here, it shows in my worn out face. I've hardly left, only been home or to the store for an hour max each time. Every time I stepped out of the hospital guilt over took me. Today Ally's coming home with me. Half of me am ecstatic that Ally gets to come home the other half drags me down, abusing the happy half, preventing it from being heard and fills my mind with guilt.

"Are you ready?" I asked looking at Ally packing her clothes on her neatly made hospital bed. The room looked bigger and colder with all the cards and balloons disappeared. The lack of colour takes the life from the room. The pinks and greens are gone replaced by the clean cut whites and blues. The scent of flowers and Ally is gone and all the fills my senses is overpowering cleaning supplies that I never noticed before.

Ally nodded as I picked up her suitcase. Ally wiped a tear from her eye. Is she sad to leave? Or sad to leave her? Ally's tears, tears me up inside. Every little tear that falls from her beautiful big brown eyes leaks out a little bit of her sole and it stabs me like a knife. I hate seeing Ally in any kind of pain it physically pains me. I hold back tears I can't let her see me upset; I have to be her rock. I pull her close to me. I breathe in her familiar strawberry scent; along with the strawberry I inhale courage and it circulates my body with my blood. I felt Ally bury her face in my chest, breathing deeply and wiping her tears. I feel like a protector, I feel like the dad looking after my family, the leader of the wolf pack. I stroke her long brown hair soft to the touch running though my fingers, trying my hardest to make her feel safe, to tell her that everything is going to be fine without speaking.

"Can we go see her before we leave?" Ally asked quietly leaning back her arms still around my back her eyes have dried.

"Yeah of course" I whispered pulling Ally close; leaving her is hard for both of us.

-{Ally}-

My arms are wrapped around Austin's muscular back, his arms hold me close protect me from the outside world helping me to forget my demons. I tried so hard to hold back my tears, but they silently fall from my eyes. I don't want to leave Melody, what kind of mother gets to leave while their newborn infant squeals in the NICU? So many thoughts invade my mind.

My eyes gaze the empty hospital room, the colours allowed me to live in an illusion, but stripped from personality the raw nakedness of the room reminds me of that night. _My mother lays weak a machine steadily beeping. Her once bright blue eyes were swollen shut. Her face was skeletal and pale. Her lips were the same shade of colour as her skin, and chapped. A bandage was wrapped tightly around her head where her once long soft chocolate hair once was. My nine year old self lay beside my weak mother, she couldn't move or talk. Tears escaped me as I held her close clinging to sole forbidding it to leave her body. I felt my mother lift her finger all her energy and effort went into her one movement, she gently stroke my back with a shaky hand, it was only a second it took everything out of her before her hand dropped to her side. I kissed her on the cheek gently hoping to miraculously bring her back to life. "I love you" I whispered into her ear. A tear leaked from her swollen yellow eye saying _I love you too_. Her sole betrayed me, and my mother, the life tore from her thin body. A solid flat line shattered my heart. Nurses surrounded her, my dad tore me from my mother's lifeless body. I kicked and screamed not letting myself accept the present. My dad took me outside the room, I cried in hysterics into his chest. My dad was crying silently too holding me. Hours passed. I looked back into my mother's empty lifeless room; I broke down falling onto the empty neatly made bed._

I breathed deeply into Austin's chest pushing out the memories forbidding letting them take control of me like they have done so many times before. I pulled back from Austin my tears have dried.

"Can we go see her before we leave?" I asked quietly already knowing the answer.

/

We walked fingers intertwined solemnly silent to the NICU. We instinctively knew the way there. My heart aches as we walk passed the nursery filled with perfectly healthy babies on the right path to the way home. I know not to be jealous, Melody is on her way out, she's doing so well but looking at these babies guilt overcomes me, because she should be in there, I did this to her.

The NICU breaks my heart. So many tiny babies squeal and wriggle in their humdicribs. Babies even smaller that what Melody was, tiny helpless babies so small the only movements they make are their chests rising and lowering in their large nappies and little beanies attached to tubes and machines. It breaks my heart. I float to Melody who is no longer in an incubator.

I looked at my baby girl, Austin at my side. We both smile softly at our beautiful girl. Melody sleeps hiding her stunning blue eyes; her chest breathes softly her chest rises and falls. She's snuggled under a beautiful soft pale pink blanket _Melody Harper Jane _was embodied in fuchsia pink of the corner of the blanket; it was made and given to her from Austin's Nana Harper. We personalised her little crib, to make her feel at home. Melody's little brown teddy bear with the beautiful treble clef necklace Austin brought her sat in the corner, it has gotten increasingly smaller as Melody has grown. I spent a good hour a few days ago arranging a design on the side of the crib of music notes and butterflies with stickers. I stuck photos on the inside of the crib for Melody to look at. There's a photo of Austin and me smiling at her. A photo of Austin and I with Dez and Trish outside Sonic Boom and a recent photo of her 3 living grinning grandparents. She had a little laminated pink heart on the end of the crib. It said **_I'm a Girl! _**_Melody Harper Jane Moon. Daughter of Allison Dawson and Austin Moon. Born 07-04-2013 3lbs 42oz 18inches._

Melody stirred a little letting out the cutest yawn in the world making my heart melt. Her big eyes flickered open, her big blue eyes shined like diamonds. She began to cry, Austin lifted her cautiously holding her close to his body her cries were silenced. I smiled at the little girl in his arms wrapping one arm around Austin and placed a hand on Melody's tiny back. A smile is permanently secured on my face, so wide it's like I slept with a hanger in my mouth. It's impossible not to be happy when Melody's around, she's so strong, fighting her way to health, she's coming home in a week, and she's nearly big enough to move into the nursery. So why do I feel so guilty?

Austin passed Melody to my arms. I pulled her close to me, breathing in her adorable baby scent. She opened her eyes; she caught my eyes for half a second. It felt like she knew who I was; she knew that I was going to give everything to make sure she is permanently happy, that there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. She and Austin complete me I don't know what I would do without either one of them. I lay Melody in her crib and changed her into a tiny size 0000 pink onezie with a daisy on her chest.

"Come on Als, we have to go" Austin whispered "While she's asleep" Austin hugged me from behind

I fussed over Melody swaddling her in her little pink blanket from Nana Harper. A nurse came by and helped reapply her monitors, the monitors show her progress, she's doing do well. I pondered what Austin had said. I know I'm going to have to leave eventually, I don't want to. I sighed heavily.

"I love you baby girl" I whispered pressing my lips to Melody's little temple. I turned around not looking at my girl.

"Let's go before I see her again and you will never get me out of here" I said quickly to Austin grabbing his hand tearing him away from our baby.

Austin tailed behind me, as I quickly left the NICU refusing to fall into temptation and bite the apple that is looking back at the baby.

"Dad" My eyes widened, I dropped Austin's hand and through by arms around my dad's neck. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my temple.

Mimi and Mike stood beside him I pulled away from my father and hugged each of them.

"So you both coming home today" Mike asked with a smile.

"Yes" Austin smiled squeezing me from the side "Though it does feel like we're leaving a bit of us behind" I nodded in agreement but it feels good to be in Austin's arms.

/

_Arrrgh _I groan hastily flipping my body from my stomach to my back. I flop my arms over my stomach I stare at the ceiling fan spinning slowly, it's a little warm but not that hot. My eyes follow frustratingly wide awake. Austin lays beside me still and calm, he must be catching up on two weeks of lost sleep. I beg to fall into slumber but it doesn't want me. I count sheep and breathe deeply my body falls asleep, it goes limp. My mind doesn't join in. Thoughts of Melody alone in the NICU terrifies me, I should be there. I shouldn't be home without her. The thoughts haunt me attacking when I'm nearly fallen into sweet sleep, haunting thoughts shoot down my legs spasms forces me to toss in the bed immediately forcibly pulling me into unwanted awakeness.

I sigh heavily and glace at the digital alarm clock glowing on Austin's bedside glowing 2:32am. I breathe slowly through my nose my chest rises and falls, my eyes won't close.

"Austin?" I whispered "Are you awake"

Austin rolls to his back staring at the ceiling at my side.

"Yep" he whispered "I'm always awake" he replied softly.

I reached for his hand squeezing his hand tight in mine.

"We have to see Melody." I looked directly into his big hazel eyes trying to hide the pain of my separation from her in my eyes.

"We do, I can't handle the fact that she's there and we're here." Austin explained sincerely I couldn't agree more. We left for the hospital at 3 am.

-{Austin}-

It's been a week and a half since Ally was discharged from hospital, we were only at home for about 10 hours in these last few days and very second we we're at home we both felt too guilty to do enjoy ourselves or even sleep. But today I am the happiest I have been since this all started. A few days ago my mom helped Ally and I pick out a little pink car seat and today we get to use it.

I gleefully grab Ally's hand a grin won't leave my hand as we walked to the hospital nursery the car seat gripped firmly in my other hand, my mom trailed behind us talking to a nurse. Ally smiled a weak smile, her eyes were wide, she was thinking of something, something is haunting her and controlling her mind. I pulled her into a side hug squeezing her tight letting her know she can tell me anything, letting her know everything is going to be ok. Ally shook to reality her eyes didn't seem vacant anymore. I kissed her on the forehead and she kissed me on the lips.

"I love you Austin" Ally whispered kissing me on the lips again "Let's get our daughter"

We entered the nursery, the nursery was filled with little babies, sleeping and squealing in there swaddled blankets staring at their little mobiles. A nurse guided us to Melody sleeping soundly in a crib she was smaller than the other babies here in the nursery, but she was a lot bigger than she was when she was torn from Ally. She has doubled her birth weight and she has no ongoing disorders from being premature, she's a fighter, she's always going to be small, but she's going to be fine.

The nurse picked up Melody from the crib wrapped up tightly in Nana Harper's pink blanket and handed her to Ally. The baby cried in Ally's arms, Ally slowly rocked her and shushed her softly. Her cry's were silenced with a little yawn and she fell back to sleep.

"She's beautiful" Ally said softly stoking her face.

"She has a beautiful mom" I smiled hugging Ally softly. Ally smiled shyly not taking her eyes off Melody her lips curled into a small smile.

"Stop being cute you too and hand me the baby" My mom grinned as Ally cautiously passed Melody into her knowing arms.

My mom carefully placed Melody in my arms and I held her close. When she's in my arms, I can't explain it, it's like when Ally is in my arms, but it's different. All I can feel when she's in my arms is love. Love for her, love for Ally, it's impossible to be unhappy when I am in Melody's presents. She's so small; she could easily pass for a doll, so quiet and still only her chest that raises show's she's living.

I place her in the little car seat for the first time luckily she stays asleep. Ally and I fumble over the car seat along with my mom trying to get her safely secure without waking her. I pick up the car seat and hold it tight in my strong hand. Ally picks up a bag full of Melody's clothes and teddy bears and we leave the nursery after thanking the nurses.

-{Ally}-

I sit in the back seat next to Melody. Her hand grips my pinky finger as she sleeps. Austin is in the front seat with the video camera filming her first trip in the car, the trip home. It's so sweet that Austin is determined to film everything with the help from Dez to give to Melody on her 18th birthday. I smile at the camera and wave explaining how happy I am to take her home to 18 year old Melody. It's a little strange, that I'm not even 18 yet.

Mimi drives her eyes focused on the road, telling us how beautiful Melody it, and how lucky we are to have her, and how we will make a great family. I grinned in the backseat, not believing that it was possible for Austin and I could make something so beautiful. I fell so relieved to finally take her home after all this time.

"We're here" Mimi announced turning into the driveway and hoping out of the car. Austin rushed around to help detach Melody's car seat.

I smiled at Austin kissing him on the lips as he held the car seat and I hoped out of the car.

Austin and I walk to the house hand in hand. I'm looking forward to the rest of our lives; this is it Austin held the car seat in his strong hand. The first time since I was discharged, I walked up to the door step with no guilt, I was happy to be home. There is sadness deep in my heart, and I don't know why. Everything is fine.

We walked to the lounge with our new baby.

"SUPRIZE!" Our friends and family popped out of nowhere grins on their faces. Dez and Trish held a big banner reading _Congratulations It's a Girl_.

The room was spinning everything is overwhelming, I can't tell what's going on, my mind is just spinning through the motions. There's a hurricane of emotions attacks me, I don't know what to feel. I can't handle it, my body shakes uncontrollably and I can barely hear. I'm underwater. Tears tempt to overtake me, no one can see me like this I run to the bedroom. "Are you ok?" "What's wrong?" "Ally?" Questions trailed after me.

**A/N; Here we go another chapter not a hundred percent on this one but please tell me what you think REVIEW**

**Merry Christmas**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N; **_Been a while, sorry I've been caught up in Christmas fever and the end of the world carry on but hey the world didn't end so yeah you get to see how this story ends! Oh and I got 2 Broke Girls on DVD as an early Christmas present so in my free time that's what I've been doing oh and greys anatomy hired from the DVD store haha I need a life._

**Disclaimer;** _I do own Austin and Ally mwhahaha no I don't _

**Chapter 12 – I'm A Mom, I Know Things **

-{Austin}-

Shock floods my veins as Ally fly's up the stairs tears flowing from her eyes. My mouth forms a perfect O, Melody squeals in the car seat that my hand is tightly griped onto like its part of my arm. I call after her but my voice mixes with the previously smiling party guests worry evident in all their eyes.

"Honey, let me talk to her" My mom took the car seat from my hand and pulled the crying the baby from the secure seat, and calmed her down.

"I have too" I begged using puppy dog eyes, making my way to the stairs. The guests are gossiping quietly in the living room behind the door. I have to be the one for her. Why is she so upset? I thought she would be happy. I don't understand, I just have to be there.

"No. This is a mother moment... Trust me." My mom kissed the now quiet baby and carefully passed her into my arms stroking my face softly like when I was a child. Her brown chocolatly eyes full of wisdom and concern. I nodded reluctantly cradling Melody close. My mom passed me kissing me on the temple. I forced a smile on my face and walked to the living room to take on the concerned guests and show off my daughter.

-{Mimi Moon}-

"Ally honey?" I peered open the door to Austin and Ally's bedroom. Ally was lying on her stomach her head buried in her pillow letting in gasps of air between sobs. Ally pulled herself up her eyes were red and swollen mascara smudged, she looked like Alice Cooper. Her cheeks were damp, but she forced a smile.

"I'm fine. Really" Ally forced a grin showing of her shiny white teeth, wiping her eyes smudging her mascara across her cheeks. Her eyes showed so much pain. There's so much I don't know about this girl, there is a so much being hidden behind her masked face but it's starting to show in her eyes. It kills me I love Ally like she were my own, and there is nothing worse than seeing your child upset.

"No you're not." I sat cautiously next to her and wrapped my arm around her "I saw you crying. And you have big black stains down you're cheeks" I chucked lightly hugging her tight.

Ally broke down wrapping her arms around me and cried heavily into my shoulder. I stoked her hair as my heart ached from the emotion pouring out of Ally in each lung emptying sob. I rocked her gently wishing she really was my daughter. I bat back tears of the pain Mike and I went through all those years ago went our baby girl was buried replaced with a bouquet. I was broken until Austin came along pulling me into reality taking me out of that dark place filling my heart with love, putting me back together, then after years of trying I got my Jessie and I am complete. Yet still the what ifs haunt me. I don't know what I would have done if Ally and Austin went through what I did, I might have been dragged back out of the light with them.

I couldn't comprehend what Ally was saying her sobs were louder. "I miss her" "I can't do this" "I love them" I hear between gasps for air the tears free falling from her eyes peeling herself from me. I'm afraid she's heading to that dark place.

"Ally" I held her chin gently in my aging hand forcing her to look into my eyes. She looked so innocent like a little girl who lost her favourite doll. "Tell me what's wrong, you know you can tell me anything" I said with concern and sincerity.

Ally breathed slowly, I wiped her damp eyes as her tears dried. Ally brushed her hand through her long dark hair. "I'm just... overwhelmed" she sighed in defeat, the last of her emotion fell from her body.

"That's ok" I smiled at her "Every mother goes though this, mothers of premmies like you especially. Everyone tells the regular baby stories, you go though the hard part of birth and then you go home with a baby and live happily ever after. But that is fiction, a fairy tale. No one ever tells the truth. Being a mother is great, yes but its hard work, it's not happily ever after, it's hard and overwhelming." Ally nodded staring vacantly at the soft carpet finger tracing her necklace. "Ally?"

"I'm listening" Ally curled a small smile.

I gently stroked the hair from her face looking into her eyes "It's ok to be sad, you have so much built up estrogen and emotions, you had a traumatic birth, it's ok" I smiled at her reassuringly.

Ally wiped her eyes "I'm ok now" Ally smiled hugging me. Ally looked down at her shirt and tears poured from her eyes once again "Oh god, I hate breast feeding" She laughed through sobbing tears, a defeated smile plastered on her face.

"It's ok" I smiled "Well get you cleaned up, if you don't want to go to the party, that's ok too"

"No," Ally's eyes were dry again but still puffy and red "thank you for organising this, I was gutted to miss my shower, I want to go see the guests" Ally smiled and hugged me close. "And thank you for talking to me"

"That's ok sweetie, you know I love you" I smiled "I love Austin too, please promise me you will talk to him he's so worried"

"I will" Ally nodded.

There's something she's hiding, something that's killing her inside, now's not the time to bring it up, I just hope it doesn't eat her up inside before anyone realises. Her mouth smiles widely but her eyes are terrifyingly familiar, deep in sadness, I hope she isn't dragged to the dark side.

Ally cleans' herself up, gets changed and fixes her makeup, she's a young beautiful girl she doesn't deserve this. I trail Ally down the stairs to the party. I watch as Ally swallows clench's her eyes shut and plants on a smile before pulling the living room door open and is welcomed with a tsunami of smiles and congratulations.

-{Austin}-

"Melodydydy" I coo at my beautiful tiny daughter since we brought her home five days ago baby talk has invaded my vocabulary, I now find myself embarrassingly referring to myself as daddy in the third person without realising it to everyone. Melody looks at me lying securely on my lap as I talk and sing to her waving her little arms in the air. She has stunning big blue eyes that catch the light and sparkle like gems. She's so beautiful, she must have got it all from Ally, there is no way I could have created something so cute, so innocent and so perfect.

Ally is sleeping upstairs, everything's so overwhelming to her at the moment and with Melody's 5 am feedings she doesn't sleep much. I try to pitch in as much as I can, I change diapers and sing her to sleep when she's awake at 3 am, bath her and play with her. Ally does the same, we have always been a good team a year ago we were a music machine now we're a parental machine, and we rely on each other. But there is something up with Ally she's so defeated she looks so drained the brightness still hasn't returned to her eyes. I want to help her but I don't know how.

My thoughts are interrupted by Melody's sudden screams her eyes crumpled shut her face burning red, squirming on my lap. I lift her up and hold her close to my bare chest rocking her gently in my arms. Our hearts touch beating a same rhythmic tune. She calms down and I can just hear slowing sobs in my ear.

"There we go butterfly, there's nothing to be sad about is there baby girl, everything's fine" I whispered to the baby "You're tired aren't you butterfly, daddy is too, so is mommy welcome to the club"

Melody was silenced. I carefully looked at Melody; she was sleeping soundly on my chest. I carefully holding her tightly in my hands and lay down on my back on the couch, luckily she didn't wake and I joined her in sleep.

-{Ally}-

I lay awake on the bed. It's only two in the afternoon but it feels like two in the morning. Why did no one warn me how hard this is? I can't do this, I'm only seventeen. I shake those thoughts from my head not allowing them to take control of my mind. I love Melody, and Austin is a fantastic father he's the perfect parent and Melody adores him, I can't be half the parent he is. A lump forms in my throat and I force back tears. I'm done crying.

Sleep eludes me. Lack of sleep is frustratingly familiar. The red curtains fail to block out the Miami sun. I look around the room, it's so small. A large brown wooden crib has invaded the room replacing Austin and I's dresser leaving our closet overflowing and two chests of drawers out in the hall for all three of our clothes. Everything was overtaken by baby things and toys all over the floor and bedside tables even our bed. I turn to my stomach fully dressed in jeans and a t shirt; it's too much effort to dress nice these days. I toss and turn, holding a pillow over my head blocking out the light.

"Arghh" I groaned chucking my pillow across the room anger running through veins. I breathe like an angry bull, it's me against sleep. Too bad, if it doesn't want me, I don't want it! I pulled myself out of bed chucking the covers to the floor.

"Oh no" I cried as I seeped through my shirt. Tears broke down my anti tear barrier, I sobbed softly. I pulled myself out of bed and tore out a fresh shirt from my closet and pulled it onto my thin body.

My mind is blurred, that's not unusually as of recently. My body just flows through the motions my mind is vacant. Everything is mashed together a series of pictures flick through my brain like an old fashioned slideshow, but the photos are merged together. Nothing before my eyes makes any sense. I'm used to it. I float down the stairs like a bodiless spirit.

I float into the lounge and my vision pauses on Austin. He's a sleep soundly on the couch and Melody sleeps in only a nappy on his bare chest. The picture before me makes me smile my two favourite people looking so peaceful. Forbidden tears fall from my eyes, my stupid eyes are leaky faucets. Happiness floods my body, a feeling that has become unfamiliar.

Melody cries on Austin's chest jolting him to life. Austin smiles at me, peeling the tiny baby from his chest kissing her on the head. She continues to cry. Each sob stabs me like a knife.

"Hey Als" Austin kisses me on the lips with his soft ones, a surge of love shoots from his lips to mine like a lightning bolt. I take Melody into my arms, just feeling her touch shakes me to life.

"Aww you hungry butterfly? I think you are, yes you are" Baby talk has become my language of choice, talking to my butterfly distracts me from my mind and gives me the illusion of perfection. I sit on the couch next to Austin and go ready to feed Melody.

"Are you ok Als?" Austin asked wrapping his arm around me making me feel safe. His hazel eyes show genuine concern, but I don't want to scare him with my demons.

"Yeah, everything is just fine" I forced a grin.

"No you're not, your crying" Austin whispered wiping a tear from my eyes.

I sniffle as I feed Melody "Oh it's nothing, just hormones, I was furious at a pillow about ten minutes ago" I laughed denying my feelings.

-{Mimi Moon}-

"Off to the office babe" My husband announced as he entered the kitchen as I fussed over a bowl of pancake batter.

"Babe? You're a bit vacant this morning." Mike asked wrapping his arms around me from behind.

"Oh, sorry love. Have fun" I planted a kiss on Mikes lips a familiar spot for twenty years but I still feel the electricity.

"I'm going to work, I'm not going to have fun" Mike laughed leaving for the front door "Love you!"

"Love you too! Kisses!" I replied waving as he left the house.

Austin and Ally strolled down the stairs Ally held a baby monitor in her hand, Melody must be sleeping.

"Morning kids" I warmly welcomed them to the kitchen with a smile "Pancakes?"

"Waaaayyy ahead of you" Austin replied with a mouth full of pancake, butter and maple syrup. I laughed at my boy, he's grown up so much since the baby arrived but he's still a little kid at heart.

"PANCAKES" Jessie ran into the kitchen her eyes wide in her pink flannel pyjamas, she love pancakes almost as much as her big brother.

"Do you want some Ally?" I asked placing pancakes on a plastic plate for Jessie.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry" Ally smiled her hand tracing her treble clef necklace distracted.

"Has dad gone?" Austin asked his eyes wide in strangely worried.

"Yeasss" I answered curiously raising one eyebrow.

"Shit" Austin tore himself from the breakfast table "I'm late for work! Love you Als, love you Mom, love you Jess, love you Als" I waved as Austin ran out the door.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit" Jessie sang spinning around the kitchen filling her mouth with pancakes.

"Jessie!" I shockingly told off my seven year old daughter "You're seven you should never, ever say that!"

"Austin did, annnnnd I'm nearly eight" Jessie replied cheekily trying to be as cute as possible. Ally moved to the couch flicking on Friends reruns.

"No, Jessie never say that word go to your room, but put your plate in the dishwasher first!" I ordered trying to look scary; I'm not the best disciplinarian.

"But moooooom" Jessie whined pouting turning her big hazel eyes into sad puppy dog eyes.

I refused to fall for the cute look and pointed to the stairs "Go Jessie, no excuse for that kind of language"

"B-but" Jessie moaned I narrowed my eyebrows at her and she ran to her bedroom long blond hair flying behind her.

I fought guilt; discipline is the hardest part about being a parent. Sadness panged my heart looking over to Ally in the living room mindlessly flicking through TV channels. Her eyes aren't bright anymore, her hair is lifeless and she wears jeans and t-shirts, not presenting herself the way she once did. I lifted her legs and sat on the end of the couch and placed her legs on my lap.

"Whatcha watching?" I asked

"I don't know" Ally sighed "Greys Anatomy or something" she shrugged dropping the remote to the floor.

"Ally, I would ask you if you are ok but you are going to lie." I said to her my eyes on the TV.

"What?" Ally looked shocked looking me in the eye "W-what?"

"Ally" I narrowed my eyes "You're not ok are you?"

Ally shuffled in her spot pulling herself up and sitting upright "What do you mean? Oh course I'm fine" Ally denied her hand cupping her necklace.

"Ally. You may be able to fool everyone else with your mask of happiness, but your eyes are different and you can't fool a person that has had that same look in their eyes." I stoked the hair from her face and her eyes became watery.

"Did I ever tell you about Austin's older sister?" I asked her, she shook her head slowly. "Well she was born before Austin but she, was never older than him" Ally looked at me confused "Molly was stillborn" I said with a lump in my throat, I can't cry in front of Ally she's too fragile, I don't want to break her. Ally cried anyway.

"Ally, Ally, Als" I pulled her head up by her chin trying to calm her down "It's ok, it was a long time ago."

"I'm sorry" Ally looked up and wiped her tear blinking back anymore that threatens to come out "It's. Just. The. Thought of Melody. Being. You know" Ally sobbed. I hugged her close, shushing her softly.

Ally stopped crying her sobs were silenced. "When, I found out Molly didn't make it, I was only twenty-two, I couldn't handle it. My whole sole felt torn from my body, I was in a dark place, nothing else existed except for my intense sadness." Ally nodded her eyes not meeting mine. "I was broken after the birth of Molly, when I found out I was expecting Austin I felt whole again, I felt like I was me again. It wasn't me vs. the world again, I felt like I had people on my side again, although they had been there the whole time. When Austin was born I fell back into the trap, I was brought back into the dark side of depression" I looked deeply into Ally's brown eyes "Ally do you feel like you're on your own?"

Ally dropped my glance staring at her feet swinging, denying my claims.

"Ally? So you feel like you are just a floating spirit? That everything is moving a thousand miles an hour and you don't know what'd going on and you're not controlling your movements?" I asked as tears steamed from her eyes.

"Y-yes" Ally sobbed trembling in her seat. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

"Have you had any scary thoughts? When Austin was tiny like Melody, I had terrifying thoughts of him dying and was even tempted to through him out the window it was horrific" I asked soothingly.

"Sometimes." Ally broke down "I. Try. To. Bl-bl-block them. Out. But they just. Invade my thoughts" Ally blubbered in my arms. It broke my heart.

"Ally." I whispered "Looks like you have post partum depression" I kissed her temple she shook her head aggressively.

"N-no" Ally refused.

"Yes, Ally, you need to get some help" I held her close rocking her softly.

Ally sighed defeated. "How did you know?" She asked.

"I'm a mom, I know things" I whispered

**A/N; Here you go updated! I kinda like Mimi point of view she's a very sweet character who I think makes an impact**

**Thanks for reading please review and tell me what you think**

**Merry merry merry Christmas xoxo **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N;** _Christmas is defiantly my favourite holiday, decking out the house in lights, presents, the food, spending time with family. There's some kind of unity that comes with Christmas that stands out as different to other holidays –maybe it's just New Zealand I don't know- The whole world comes together for one day. It's the only time all the shops play festive music; we don't play specific Easter songs. We all get together and give to our loved ones and people we appreciate, are there any other holidays in which we give our post man a bottle of wine and our banker a box of choc? And the Christmas movies love em or hate em there always on to remind us of the real meaning of Christmas and I love it. I'm not a Christian I just love the holiday and I hope all of you readers had an amazing Christmas_

_My late gift to you yes YOU another chapter_

_I don't own Austin and Ally_

**Chapter 13 – Ally's Nightmare**

-{Ally}-

I blink at the cross roads before me icy wind whipping my face. One is the easy way out. My feet mechanically step to a familiar monotonous beat, not effort involved forcing my small body to the easy way out. My mind is blank. My sole less body escalates instinctively towards the empty path. Step. Step. Step. The only sound I can hear is my footsteps; all that is left is a welcomed heavenly silence. The easy way out is empty, just a smooth dusty path to the light, light that hypnotises me. It's alluring drawing me closer and closer. Dust puffs and diffuses into the clean air with each step on the smooth concrete path.

A metallic rusty scent brings me back to life. Panic rises inside of me. I break the rhythm of my feet forcing them with every ounce of energy in every fibre of my being to stop walking to the light. Heavenly music, similar to Austin's voice builds from the light at the end of the path tempting me to continue down this easy path, alone. The metallic blood overpowers my senses, making me retch with horror. My eyes gaze the empty path. It's not empty; the light at the end has given me an illusion of happiness, that everything is ok and blocked my vision not allowing me to see 180 degrees just what's directly ahead of me. A baby and a handsome blonde boy lay dead on the side of the path there innocent body's torn from limb to limb my heart breaks as I fall to my knees hot salty tears flood from my eyes.

I try to tear my eyes from the gory mess, but my eyes betray my wishes. More of my loved ones lay dead in pools of shiny red blood, gashes on their cold lifeless bodies. Who could have done this? Did I? Is this what the easy way out will cost me? I become alert picking up my body to my feet I run away from the light.

It's like I'm running in the opposite direction on a treadmill. I step forward two steps back. But I keep running the dust flying behind me. Icy wind punishes me making the dust sink into my lungs I cough so much I feel like I might die from the suffocating air. I push forward to the cross roads. My eyes are blinded buy a thick layer of dust. With no vision I know where to go I pull my body in the opposite direction of where my feet naturally want to go. Nature punishes me for going against it. I trip on a rock that appeared from nowhere. The wind grows angry spiralling around me like a personal tornado. I try to pull myself up, but I stagger to my feet like when you're a kid running up the slide but you slip and fall back down the slide. I can see again although it's hazed like looking in foggy glasses.

I get to my feet gagging as a rotting smell invades my small nose. I want to vomit my stomach swishes and slurs. But I can't stop running. Each breath I take hurts and it takes all my energy, my lungs are heavy. My face is hot and burning sweat leaks from my forehead. I keep running ignoring my dehydration and my dry swollen tongue. Brown dust with bright green leaves spiral in front of me. How long until I get there? I'm sure it didn't take this long before. Thoughts taunt me but I keep going. Wind kicks me from behind and I barrel roll off the path.

The ground feels rough on my butt and thighs; gravel has grazed my legs and knees beads of blood glisten from my legs. I breathe in the sweet smell of dirt and pine no blood or rot and decomposition. I wipe my eyes I can see clearly now. I pull myself to my feet dusting my hands on my denim shorts. Vomit gushes from my mouth without warning the acidic taste repulses me. I scrunch up my face in disgust. I shake in my skin feeling frail the cold wind kicks me while I'm down shooting shivers up and down my spine.

"Ally" the voice of an angel entices me. "Ally, its ok" the voice comes from the entry to the easy way out.

I turn and see a tall beautiful dark haired woman with stunning blue eyes that shine brighter than the sun. Her beauty radiates from her like gravity. I walk towards her my hand reaching, craving her touch.

"Mom?" I asked dropping my hand my eyebrows curved up my mouth forming an O.

"Yes, baby Al. It's me. Come have a drink, take the easy way out." She smiled at her white teeth love radiated her smile summoning.

"Ok" I'm mesmerised walking to my mother, it's been so long since I felt her touch. My feet take me on the conveyor belt of the easy way out.

The wind must be on my side now. It knocks over my mother. It wasn't my mother it was an illusion, a cardboard cut out that falls to the ground with the wind. The thud of the cardboard cut out jolts me to reality, I'm no longer mesmerised by the easy way out. Dust flies into the atmosphere around the cut out. I glance at the foot only my big toe rests on the path to the easy way out. I force my toes from the path thanking god that's all that made it to that side. I run to the other path, music comes from the easy way out but I block my ears sticking my fingers in them refusing to fall into the traps of the easy way out.

I walk into the path of the hard way out. Fear flows from my arteries through to my veins. I hear Melody's cry at the other end of the path, faint, miles away.

"ALLLLY" I hear Austin's faint scream, he must be with Melody "WE NEED YOU!" He yells.

"I'M COMMING!" I scream at the top of my lungs with my dry mouth craving water my lungs ache.

When I was younger before my mother passed as a family my mother, father and I used to go to carnivals. I loved it, the sickly sweet cotton candy, and the sweet smell of toffee apples, the rickety amusement rides and games with colourful stuffed toys hanging around the stalls. It was a celebration with nothing to celebrate. My mother loved the house of mirrors. The mirrors warped reality, making you too short or too small. It terrified me. The mirrors juxtaposed so that they looked like infinite portals. It looked like it went on forever. My mom always tried to calm me down telling me to look past the illusion there is always a logical way out. But I hated feeling trapped.

The hard way out reminds me of the house of mirrors a labyrinth of shrubbery. A never ending maze of green leaves trapping me a road block between me and the two people I love more than anything. Melody's cries and Austin's screams haunt me, so distant, so quiet yet deafening. I stand still the wind whipping my pale face. I breathe deeply closing my eyes clearing my mind trying to be logical. _Look past the illusion. _My mind takes control of my feet and step in my chosen rhythm I have control.

I run diving around the curves and corners of the maze. A smile creeps on my face. I'm making it. I'm making it. I keep my steady motion. My mind stays clear so I can calculate my movements, to look past the illusion. _There is always a logical way out._ Sweat drips from my dehydrated frail body. Each breath feels heavy, creating pain in my chest. My heart races a thousand miles an hour.

I stop dead in my tracks. A dead end.

I fall to the ground thumping my fists on the hard floor. Melody's cries screech in my ears, and Austin's cries for help tears my heart to pieces. Blood fills my mouth, I bit my tongue to stop feeling the pain in my heart, and the metallic scent fills my nose. I cough up puddles of blood. I breathe hysterically gulping bubbles of air. My eyes become a waterfall. I don't know where my body found this water.

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" I scream at the top of my lungs to the sky, tears streaming down my puffy red desperate face.

"I can't" I whisper shaking my head looking to the dirt ground.

I collapse. My heart rate slows my breathing steady. Knocked out.

/

My eyes flutter open a bright light blinds me. I look up at a doctor in a surgical mask, his gloves are covered in blood a scalpel in his hand drips glistening gems of red blood. My stomach feels empty air tornadoing inside.

"What's going on?" I whispered in fear.

"You're babies dead" The doctor said in a monotone.

My heart raced, my head thumped, I wanted to be sick. I'm lying on an operating table I try to move my hands but their pale and cold and refuse to move. My stomach is wide open my bloody insides on display.

My vision goes blurry and I begin to fade.

"Ally?" The doctor asked with terrifying piercing eyes. "Ally?"

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"Ally?" Austin shakes me vigorously.

My eyes open and I'm welcomed back into the real world by Austin's caring face, his big hazel eyes are fill of concern. My face is dripping and my body feels sticky and sweaty and my heart is racing.

"Al's? Are you ok? You were tossing and crying in your sleep. Bad dream?" Austin asked cradling me in his arms making me feel safe.

"I can't take the easy way out" I whispered "Death is the easy way out" Austin's raised eyebrow makes his confusion known.

"I have to look past the illusion." I whispered looking into Austin's beautiful eyes.

"Als? What are you talking about?" Austin rubbed my back as I sat up and he kissed my temple, each of his movements show his deep concern.

"Your mom's right." I left the room leaving Austin alone shirtless in the bed confused.

/

Mimi's in the kitchen cooking bacon for breakfast her attention is on the frying pan but her mind is in another world.

"Mimi?" I whispered in my sweaty pyjamas. I feel stinky, sticky and gross.

"Ally." Mimi sounded startled; did I wake her from her own world?

"Are you ok honey? You look like you have had a tough night." Mimi looked me in the eye with concern, then only look anyone seems to give me these days.

"I have postpartum depression" It took everything in me to force out those four words with tears flowing from my eyes.

"Honnney" Mimi rushed to my side turning off the stove and hugging me tight kissing my sticky forehead "Admitting it is the first step" she rocked me like a baby in her arms.

I pulled out of her embrace. "I need to look past the illusion... I need to get. Help" I gulped I hated that I'm going to have to go through the shame of therapy, but the hard way out of this depression is the hard way out. Giving into it and ending my life, is worse.

Mimi shushed me pulling me into her arms stoking my hair. "That you can get. We can get you help" She whispered.

**A/N; So I have been reading lots of post apocalyptic books because I love them (If you're interested Wither by Lauren Destefano and the Matched series by Ally Condie are amazing!) And I had the urge to write in a fantasy world hence Ally's nightmare came to mind. This is a very different chapter but it give you a different insight to Ally's depression.**

**Tell me what you think!**

**Much love, Dominique xo! **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N; **_Just a warning may not be updating for a while but I will try my hardest to put up a new chapter next week but I'm going away again on holiday, no internet I only have so much data on my phone ;) _

_Thanks to every single one of you that reads my story. Big thank-yous to _MercyandLove, PhoebeHalliwell23, AwkkwardTree, queenc1 _and_ Emmalt. _You guys seem to review every chapter and I really appreciate it, it makes we feel good and motivates me to post a new chapter._

_Nope still don't own Austin and Ally_

**Chapter 14 – Pressed Against The Glass**

-{Austin}-

Ally leaves the room coated in sweat, frazzled and agitated. _I have to look past the illusion? _What does she mean? Ally has been so strange since we brought Melody home two and half months ago. I fall to my back and rub my temples closing my eyes tight. Melody sleeps soundly in her basinet that towers over her making her look smaller than she already is. We have been blessed with a heavy sleeper; Melody only wakes up twice in the night and sleeps to 7 every morning. Melody's usually our wakeup call, but something else deep in Ally's subconscious was our wakeup call this morning. I yawn and roll over to glance at my alarm clock, 6:17am; Melody will be asleep for a while still.

What is it that is disturbing Ally so much? Why won't she let me in? I feel like I'm the outside. I'm like a child at the zoo watching the animals from behind glass. I can see observe everything that Ally's doing, I know what she's doing but I can't know for sure because she can't hear me and I can't understand what she's saying. I reach out for her but my hand punches the unscratchable glass. All I can do is press my face to the glass and hope that she comes to me, breaks down the glass and lets me in.

I miss our music. Before Melody was born we would sing to her in the womb and stroke her stomach gently giving Melody our undivided love and attention. I would sing softly to Ally when she couldn't sleep my fingers running through her long glossy chocolatly hair with its strawberry scent that made my stomach flutter. She would rest her head on my bare chest her eyes closed breathing steadily listening to my heartbeat. I would wait for her body to relax heavily into mine and her nose to let out a steady quiet snore, I would kiss her gently on the temple pulling her close to me then rolling her over to her side. These days, I know Ally can't sleep well but when I offer my arms to her she rolls over leaving my arms empty. My heart aches at each rejection but my arms are reserved for the one girl I love enough to break my heart. We both lay awake our eyes sprung open watching the world go by without us waiting for Melody to wake for her next feeding.

Ally cries at night. I don't know why. I can't even hear her sobs. I can't see her face in the darkness. I can feel the tears that roll silently down her cheeks. I try to comfort her, I try to stoke her hair to kiss her temples but she shrugs me off grabbing my hand squeezing it and letting go hastily. I always roll over in defeat, I keep reaching out to her but there's always something in the way.

We don't see much of each other in the day. Ally has become somewhat of a night owl sleeping when Melody sleeps in morning and afternoon. I don't think she really sleeps, just using excuses to stay away from the rest of the world. I work more now that Melody's arrived even though my boss gave me a raise and promotion; we greatly underestimated the cost of a baby and saving for an apartment. I've picked up a job at Sonic Boom as well, I haven't told Ally. Lester keeps offering me money but pride gets in the way, if I can't provide for my family what can I do?

In my spare time I play with Melody giving her all my love. I always ask Ally to join, but she always misty eyed declines. I don't know why. I'm her boyfriend and Melody is her daughter. I wonder if she ever spends time with Melody just for fun but I push those thoughts from my head, of course she does, she loves her. But I have a terrifying niggling feeling that her feelings towards Melody aren't what she says they are. How can I possibly think like this? Sick thoughts I banish from my mind.

Trish and Dez haven't seen Ally since the shower upon our arrival. I see them all the time at work; they come to our house too to visit Melody. I tell Ally they are here but she never replies pretending to be asleep, each time this happens I sigh and close the door. "She's asleep" I lie to Dez and Trish as they coo over my daughter "She's still recovering" I will explain. It's the same play on every visit. I hate lying to my best friends especially with the amount of concern that drips from their eyes, they are just as worried about Ally as I am, they are just lucky enough not to see the worst of it. They are just as cut off as I am; they just aren't as close to the glass.

I sigh and pull myself up from the bed. I sit at the end of the bed peering over the basinet. Melody rhythmically suckles on her pink pacifier, swaddled tightly in Nana Harpers pink blanket, her chest rising and falling. Her eyes are closed tightly. She's so peaceful her eyes closed tightly taking her to her own little world. She doesn't notice the distance. She doesn't see the pain in her mother's eyes; she doesn't even know the sparkle that they once had. It's been so long since Ally has sung to her, not since the womb, she's forgotten Ally's harmonic voice. It doesn't worry her, she doesn't know any better, and her life is perfect. I'm jealous of her innocence. She's fresh and new; nothing has ever hurt her or broken her heart, not a care in the world. I bent over and gently kissed her forehead careful not to wake her, breathing in her sweet baby scent, a mix of baby powder and youth.

Ally slowly creaks open the door with the palm of her hand worried she might wake the baby. Ally is small, wrapped in her pyjamas her eyes glued to the floor refusing to meet my eyes. Her hair is a mess, a bird's nest piled on her crown. She's beautiful despite how tired and drained she looked her arms too skinny and legs are limp.

"Ally" I whispered forcing her eyes to join mine "Can I talk to you?" I pointed to the hallway, she nodded in agreement.

I pick up the baby monitor, and followed Ally to the hall the door shutting slowly behind me not wanting to wake the baby.

"AUSTY!" Jessie ran at me, her own stampede, wrapping her arms tightly around my legs. "Is my Melody up yet" She tilted her head her hazel eyes sparkling displaying her innocence in a princess dress.

"No, Jessie. I will tell you when she wakes up, kay?" I tell her lifting her into my arms squeezing her. "I have to talk to Ally"

"Can I talk" Her eyes light up looking at Ally who was shuffling her feet in silence, she's been distant with Jessie too.

"No sorry glitter pants" I shot a look at Ally and she motioned towards the bathroom. I shuffled Jessie's curly blonde hair and she walked away in a huff.

I walk into the cold white bathroom and plonked myself on the toilet lid and placed the baby monitor on the basin. Ally closed the door behind her and leaned on the door her hands behind her back eyes glued to her bare feet with pink nails. I don't know why but I feel like this conversation is going to be a lot more serious than I originally thought. If anyone didn't know us they wouldn't think we are both 17, the baby has forced us to grow up and become mature well before our years with problems that the average 35 year old has to deal with.

"Al's are you ok?" I pipe up trying to catch her eye from across the white room. Ally doesn't look up see just sighs heavily, her words just tremble on her lips and refuse to be said.

"I-I-I feel like I'm on the outside" I stutter, finding it hard to voice my feelings. I've have never been one to share my feelings in my head, they usually get buried under a pile of worthless facts.

Ally looks up puzzled but silent breaking the stare between her eyes and toes.

"I feel so distant, you're hiding things, and you're in pain. Don't tell me you're not!" The words pour out of my lips, building fire in my body; I don't know why anger is building. "I KNOW YOU" I quickly get up from the toilet jumping to my feet my eyebrows narrowed. Ally just looks at me silent hands behind her back still.

"HOW CAN I HELP YOU?" I wave my arms around spinning on the white tiled floor in my black socks and bare chest. "IF DON'T LET ME?!" I tower over Ally my hands on the door looking down into her brown eyes, I'm blinded by rage.

Ally's eyes glisten with fear. Her fingers trace her treble clef necklace. My heart breaks, I'm the reason for this fear. She should NEVER fear me; I would never lay a hand on her. I drop my hands from the door to my sides, I step back from her softening my face my heart beat steadying.

"I'm sorry Al's. I didn't want to get angry or look intimidating. I just love you, and it kills me that you're in so much pain and I can't do anything. And I don't know why. Why are you so hurt?" I asked a lump in my throat, the flood gates have opened and all my emotions are flowing freely.

Ally is still at the door a tear rolls down her pale cheek. "I'm sorry" She trembles.

-{Ally}-

I never thought how much my depression has affected Austin. I have been so warped in my own messed up mind that I have neglected that boy I love so much. I can't let my depression drive Austin out of my life, losing him would be the thing that tips me over the edge, the thing that pulls the trigger of the gun at my head. There's pain in his voice, his eyes are soft and caring, but I feel like I have stabbed him.

I close my eyes and breathe deeply a tear rolls down my cheek. "I'm sorry" I tremble. I want to tell him I'm sorry for neglecting him. I'm sorry for keeping my feelings to myself. I'm sorry for not being myself. I'm sorry for not realising sooner. But my throat is closed up and the words are stuck. I want to pull him close and hug him, but my arms won't move from my back.

"For what?" Austin's look of confusion returns one eyebrow higher than the other.

"Everything." I whisper "It's all my fault." I close my eyes and bang my head on the door "I'm sorry"

"Ally" Austin strokes his strong hand on my thin arm sending tingles up my body, I have missed his touch. I let him touch me, I haven't in so long and I don't know why. "It's ok, just tell me what's going on in your head." Austin looks into my eyes with his beautiful hazel eyes, eyes that once made me weak at the knees, but now nothing, and it kills me. I want my feelings back.

"I have messed everything up with my stupid subconscious" I told him angry at myself, trying to break free from the tight grasp depression has on my heart.

Austin is still so confused, he doesn't understand. I can't find the right words; depression grabs hold of my tongue. I reach out to him; I manage to place my hand on his face. I look into his eyes trying to explain telepathically, because I have become mute. I drop my hand and scrunch my face tightly closing my eyes battling the depression for control of my words.

"Austin" I win "I have. I have." I breathe "I have postpartum depression." I fall into his arm using all the words that depression allowed me to have choking me with the last word silencing me. Tears drip down my face and form puddles on his bare chest and listen to his reassuring heart beat. Austin holds me tight like if he lets go I will break. I let him. I miss his embrace; I can't remember the last time he held me like this.

"Ally. I had no idea" Austin whispers into my dark hair "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you" guilt drips from his voice.

"You have nothing to be sorry about" I say with dry eyes, and no more sobs Austin's arms has knocked the sadness out of me. "It's me, I never told you. You're mom figured it out. She's going to help me find help" I explained looking into his eyes with a false smile on my face.

"I will help anyway I can" Austin said.

"Thank you. Just hold me" I told him, and he held me. We stand in silence listening to each other's heartbeats. A loud cry from the baby monitor tears us apart as we rush to our daughter's side.

**A/N; Here we go, do you like? Get a bit of Austin's feelings towards Ally's depression. Thanks for reading.**

**Review **

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! This is the last chapter of 2012 all the best for 2013 **

**xo**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N; **_Soooo sorry it's been sooooo long! Sorry! _

_I don't own Austin and Ally_

**Chapter 15- It Feels Good To Be Back **

-{Ally}-

"How are you feeling?" the therapist asks behind her little glasses resting on her nose short orange hair tucked behind her ears, a note pad rests on her lap legs carefully twisted and wrinkles framing her cornflower eyes dripping in wisdom.

I sit in silence my legs tightly pressed together a yellow skirt draped over my knees. I fidget my fingers twisting, squeezing intertwining not staying still. I contemplate the simple question. I bite my lip staring directly at the clean white wall behind the therapist. I can't focus my mind turns to Melody and her beautiful big blue eyes and Austin's bright blonde hair. But there's no emotion behind it, I just think of them.

"I feel nothing" I tell the therapist as she scribbles on the notepad not making eye contact. A week ago I would have cried, I would have screamed or slept but I feel nothing it's like that last cry in Austin's arms stole the very last of my emotion.

"Nothing?" The doctor nods stealing my eye contact her red hair flowing behind her. I nod back thumping my head on the back of the couch.

"Nothing."

"What do you think of when you think of your daughter?" she asks me in that cliché therapist soothing calm voices from behind her notepad the pen not leaving her page.

I think of her in her crib. I swallow not letting her know the truth.

/

"Do you think we should move on to infant nappies? She is four months old" Austin asked his hand in mine in the grocery store but it wouldn't make a difference if he wasn't, I don't feel the warmth of the blood rushing through his fingers a layer of ice under my skin blocking my sense of touch and all emotion.

My other hand is clasped around the handle of the trolley* Melody sleeps in the baby seat of the trolley Nana Harpers pink blanket wrapped around her, a black seatbelt holding her in place as a pacifier suckles in her mouth.

"Probably, she is very small, but yeah she's big enough" I replied glancing at the shelf of endless pink and blues packages with smiling babies plastered on them, then at Melody. Melody is so small for her age her prematurity has captured her innocence. She doesn't look four months old she looks two months old when she should look three months but she is big enough to be promoted to infant. Not long ago seeing her vulnerability would have sent me to tears but not guilt doesn't even penetrate my skin, let alone heart. Austin drops my hand picks up a huge pink box of infant diapers with winnie the pooh on the side and puts it in the trolley.

I smile at Austin as catches my glance before pondering baby shampoo. I stare at the floor. I don't make many decisions for Melody, it's not Austin he doesn't take control he always asks my opinion but I never have one. Austin puts down the Johnsons no more tears shampoo and walks off. He walks and doesn't stop he walks out of the supermarket the automatic doors shutting behind him. I stand behind the trolley shouting his name asking him where he's going. Melody stirs screaming in the baby seat. Panic manages to break though the ice and fill my cold emotionless veins. Melody's cries echo in my brain, I fumble over the clasp pulling her from the seat.

"Austin!" I call but he's long gone. Is he coming back? What if he doesn't? How will I pay for this stuff? What shampoo do I get? Where will I go? I can't do this. What shampoo do I get?

Melody's screeching cries creates a stir I feel eyes fixated on me as I franticly shake the crying baby. Tears pour from my eyes, screeching like the tiny baby in my arms. My eyes are blurred but I can still see all the eyes on me the frantic girl with the baby she can't console. Melody loves Austin. She doesn't love me.

Melody slips from my grasp. My tears dry up. Melody falls in slow motion from my arms to the cold hard floor. My arms move magnetically to my sides. Melody's cries are silenced as her body impacts to the white floor. Tears burst from my eyes. I crawl into a ball pushing the trolley away I grab Nana Harper and bury my heartbroken face in the pink blanket my back leaning on the nappy aisle trembling in hysterics as a crowd of people fuss over the baby but her sole has left just a lifeless body tiny body. There are so many people but the one person I want to see is nowhere to be found.

"Ally. Ally?" I stared at the floor. "Ally?" I shake my head and look up at Austin. "Are you ok?" Austin asked me concern in his big round hazel eyes, two bottles of baby shampoo in his hands. Melody is sleeping in the trolley's baby seat wrapped in the pink blanket her pacifier moving in and out. I grab hold of the carts handle stretching and pulling my hair out of my face.

I sigh deeply pushing away horrific thoughts, trying to forget the vision. "I'm scared" I whisper "That's what I'm feeling"

"What was that?" Austin asked still holding the shampoo in his large palms.

"Nothing, tell me about the shampoos" I told him a wave of confidence somehow made it to my brain. The ice is melted with my realisation.

"Sure" Austin's lips curved into a smile, I think this is the first time I have shown interest in what we get our daughter. "This one is no more tears and strawberry scented in a bigger bottle, this one is a bit more expensive and smaller but it will help her sleep and is made for babies her age" Austin explained. I never noticed just how concerned he is for our daughter it's a turn on, there aren't many teen dads that have so much input in their child's life. He has had to become a solo dad because I am so absent. This has to change, because he will leave and I have no idea how to do this. My heart raced with panic.

"The sleep one, she hasn't been sleeping well lately." I told him and he chucked it in the trolley grinning at me.

Austin pulls me in from the side forcing me to release my hand from the trolley handle. I feel the blood rush through his veins, I feel his heart beat, the smoothness of his arms and the hardness of his muscles. My body relaxes in his, my heart rate slows. For the first time in weeks I feel his touch, I feel his love and I feel safe. "Thank you for getting involved" Austin kisses my forehead not caring in the slightest that we are in the supermarket next to the diapers and tampons. Guilt pangs my heart for not being involved, for leaving Austin alone.

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

"It's not your fault" He replied.

-{Austin}-

"Honey I'm home!" I announced ironically in a cheesing sing song tone entering the front door.

Ally laughs making her eyes shine bright above her pink rosy cheeks showing off her pearly white teeth. Eight month old Melody giggles when ever her mommy laughs scrunching up her little pink face her bright blue eyes connecting with hers. It makes my heart warm to see something so beautiful and hear to laughs that makes the most beautiful duet.

"Hey Austin" Ally manages between giggles "you're a loser" Ally stepped to her feet my giggling baby in her arms.

I kissed Melody on her forehead and scuffed her patch of bright blonde hair she stretches her little chubby arms out to me and I pulled her into my arms kissing Ally on the lips.

"How was work?" Ally asked connecting our eyes showing her love. It's weird to think that only a few months ago this beautiful girl and mother were absent and emotionless, her sole dying with no one knowing. Now she's not afraid to be angry or happy, she's not afraid to look after Melody on her own, she still cries but not over putting her shoes on the wrong foot. Ally's Ally again and nothing could be better.

"Highlight was seeing you at lunch" I grinned kissing her again on the lips. Melody stirs in my arms babbling in her own language.

"How was your day? Did therapy go well?" I asked. Surprisingly Ally laughed as we moved to the lounge I shot her a confused look Melody clung to my orange and white striped shirt.

"Look at us" Ally laughed her face pink from laughter "We're so grownup!" She grinned "We sound married asking about each other's day" Ally plonked herself down on the couch sinking into the soft purple cushion.

"Yeah I guess we are" I laughed sitting next to her "We're grown up, we have to be" I glanced at Melody sitting happily on my lap. "We're not married. But we could be" I quickly bit my lip I've been thinking about marrying Ally for a long time but I never thought I would bring it up. I nervously shifted in my seat.

"Austin." Ally rested her hand on my shoulder "We're 17, I want to go back to school" I awkwardly shifted in my seat not expecting a rejection I lifted Melody bouncing her on my lap trying to escape the awkwardness.

"I'm not saying I don't want to marry you. I do. But not now." Ally reasoned, I smiled happy to know that my fantasy may one day come true. It feels weird to be a teenage boy and think of marriage and not sleeping around but being a father has definitely aged me at least ten years and I'm happy with that.

I smiled at her looking in to her beautiful brown chocolatly eyes her long dark hair framing her face perfectly. "So how was your day?"

"My meds are cut down to half!" Ally exclaimed happily taking Melody into her arms. "Dr. Andrews says I'm doing really well and recovering from depression in record time, in a month or two I'm not going to need any meds at all but will need to continue therapy for at least one more year, but I'm doing extremely well!" smiling happily.

"Wow I'm so happy for you!" I hugged her from the side kissing her temple.

"Today was defiantly a great day! I spent the day with Trish and Dez at the mall and they fussed like crazy over Melody as usual but I did draw the line when Dez made Melody a pair of bacon pants" Ally laughed "Remember Dez's bacon pants" I laughed imagining Melody in a mini pair of pants covered in delicious rasher bacon.

"You didn't like the bacon pants did you Butterfly?" Ally cooed to Melody "But you love Aunty Trish and Uncle Dez don't you baby, yes you do, yess. And you loved spending time with Nana what did you do with Nana hey Butterfly?"

"Did you leave Melody with Mom?" I asked lately Ally hadn't been leaving Melody alone with anyone alone except for me.

"Yes, I can trust your Mom, it was very silly of me not to let people babysit and I need to start going to therapy alone" Ally smiled rocking Melody to sleep in her arms.

"That's great, I really feel like I have my Ally back"

"It feels good to be back" Ally kisses me gently on the lips.

/

"Jonty I'm leaving my shifts over get off your arse you have customers" I called to the back room of Snow Globes R Us.

"Austin, relax your sphincter I'm coming" Jonty moved into the store in a black t-shirt and douchey overly expensive sunglasses hiding his bloodshot eyes intoxicating the store with over powering body spray to cover the smell of smoke "Oh shit you do it" Jonty said after analysing the busyness of the store snow globes have suddenly come back in fashion.

"No. I've got another job to get to" I rolled my eyes at Jonty knowing there is no way he can handle this.

"Dez, hey! Did you come to meet me?" I asked at my red head best friend outside the store.

"No came to see that" Dez pointed at a man carving a sculpture out of butter outside _Izzie's Ice and Dairy _

"Oh I see" I replied confused as to why anyone would carve a sculpture of butter but it's somewhat awesome.

"Wanna go get a some cheese from_ Cheese Outta My League? _Then go see Trish at the second hand book store?"Dez asked in his stripy purple pants, yellow tiger t-shirt and his signature backpack and suspenders hanging from his pants.

"Wish I could but I've picked up a shift at _Sonic Boom" _I told him as we walked towards the store.

"That's cool I miss hanging out there, when do you think Ally will go back to work?" Dez asked walking along side me doing some kind of string cat's cradle thing in his fingers.

"I dunno, she might never go back to _Sonic Boom _she has patched things up with her dad but she still has issues, there are some haunting feelings she has about it." I explained.

"That sucks, but it's good to see her looking happy again" Dez said speaking surprisingly deep for him "See yah later man I'm off to get some cheese" Dez grinned walking off to the food court.

I step into _Sonic Boom _and smell inhale the familiar scent of new instruments a mixture of metal and polishers and a hint of salt from the beach overpowers my senses giving me a feeling of home. There's something different about _Sonic Boom_ today it feels more familiar than usual more comfortable.

"Hey Austin I'm about to take off, Judy the temp is here just sign in and get to work I'll come visit you and Ally later" Lester smiled a big friendly grin and rushed out of the store I wave good bye and head upstairs to sign in.

I'm stopped dead in my tracks at the top of the stairs music is coming from the practice room. Nobody has used the practice room since Ally, its Ally's space. Has Lester rented it out? Is it Ally?

I lean on the cold wooden door peering into the practice room and the most beautiful voice fills my ears. I slowly quietly open the door shock shot through me to see Ally sitting at the piano seat singing a slowed down changed slightly version of _Without You. _I'm quiet not wanting her to know I'm here to take in as much of the music as possible, she will stop when she realises I'm here.

Melody is sitting in the corner listening to her Mom sing and playing with her little stuffed animals. "Dabishablebababa!" She screeched excitedly when she noticed me in her own baby babble clapping her chubby hands together. Causing Ally to jump in shock and look at me her mouth forming an o as big as her eyes.

"Austin" Ally blushed twirling of the piano seat her blue floral dress flowing behind her moving close to me.

"You're singing again" I curved a smile on my face snatching a glance into her big brown eyes.

"Yeah" She nervously looked at the floor shuffling her feet in her cowboy boots. "I felt like singing for the first time today so I... just did" she shrugged looking up to me.

"It was more beautiful than ever before. You were singing I _Without You" _I smiled hugging her tightly kissing her lips I glanced at Melody smiling up at her loving parents.

"Yeah it means so much more to me now, I've changed it a bit" Ally looked into me my arms still wrapped around her waist.

"How so?" I asked

"Because there is no way in hell I could do this parenting thing without you" Ally laughed her eyes showed how serious she is.

"There's no way I could do this without either" I smiled planting a kiss on her lips. She kissed me back passionately. Ally suddenly jumped back out of my arms breaking out kiss glancing at Melody my cheeks grew red as we both burst into laughter.

"Shall we sing together? For old times' sake?" I asked hoping she would agree.

Ally swept Melody into her arms bouncing her gently and nodded to me. I kissed Melody's temple taking her from Ally's arms and placing her back into her corner of cushions and soft toys.

I plant myself next to Ally on the piano seat. Ally's fingers glide across the piano keys instinctively hoping from one key to the next her hands were made for the piano. Ally and I sing _Without You _she's right. When I sang this song I always thought of my career, now I think of Melody. Sixteen months ago before Melody existed nothing was ever more important than my career it was everything, now it's nothing. Melody and Ally are my everything there is nothing I wouldn't give for my girls but I wouldn't be able to do anything without Ally and our friends and family.

We sang together. Ally's hands occasionally rubbed against mine on accident sending a familiar rush though my body making my heart skip a beat turning my face red. Ally smiled as she sang turning the pages of her song book periodically, her voice mesmerising me making me forget the world around me. I sang along, I haven't sang in such a long time but voice knew what to do. Everything feels exactly the same but completely different.

"Melody!" Ally exclaimed excitedly abruptly bringing our song to a stop. I spin in my seat my eyes widen in delight to see Melody in her little green dress with green leggings and matching head band on her blonde head crawling to us for the first time.

"Oh my god!" Ally exclaimed "Come on Melody! Come on Butterfly! Nearly here! Nearly here!" Ally grinned at the baby stumbling her way to us.

I grinned at Melody her little face was determined her eyebrows crooked blue eyes scrunched pushing her little chubby knees and hands forward.

"Come on Melody, come on, come on" Ally and I chanted encouraging her.

She made it. Melody grabbed the end of my skinny jeans tugging it looking up at us with pleading eyes. I pulled her from the floor and bounced her on my lap giggling with each bounce.

"You're crawling Butterfly, crawling" Ally smiled wrapping one arm around my and patting Melody's back gently a tear rolled down Ally's cheek.

"You ok Al's?" I asked my hand still gripped around Melody.

"Yeah. They just grow up so fast"

**A/N; We call trolleys trolleys in New Zealand Austin and Ally are American so I have been trying hard to use American terminologies but I couldn't think of what Americans call trolleys, shopping carts? Doesn't sound as good as trolley haha. **

**So what do you think let me know. Its not my best work I admit but I'm just getting back into the swing of things, please feel free to review**

**Much love xo**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N; **_ Hello lovely people new chapter has arrived! This has taken me a while and it's not the longest chapter in the world. I have written and rewritten trying to write the main points in a interesting and believable way and I'm still not happy with it I promise the next one will be better. So enjoy – hopefully – Bit of a story filler. _

_I don't own Austin and Ally_

**Chapter 16 – One Sleepless Night**

-{Ally}-

I slowly remove my hand from Melody's back as she sleeps soundly in her pale blue onesie a little pink and white bunny held tightly in her chubby hands close to her body protecting her. I smile exhausted. Finally, she sleeps she's been a tiny sleepless monster disguised as a tiny angel with golden curls. I back away from the crib and fall onto the bed next to Austin laying bare-chested on the bed even in February headphones blaring music into his ears.

I try to prevent my eyes from glancing at the clock all I know is that it's late and the sun is due up soon. I snuggle close Austin feeling his warmth listening to his heart beat. Austin stokes my hair letting me know he's awake while I run my treble clef through my fingers. I look up at Austin he smiles at me I pluck a headphone from his ear and put it in mine.

"One Direction?" I asked confused, raising an eyebrow I didn't think boy bands was Austin's thing. Austin's face grew red.

"It's written by Ed Sheeran" Austin quickly defending himself but song continued to blare in our ears.

I picked up Austin's phone "You're listening to the album" I chuckled.

"Yeah, not very manly is it" Austin laughed anxiously shuffling slightly still stroking my hair softly.

"You don't need to be ashamed of anything, you're the manliest man I know" I kissed Austin tenderly on the lips. The kiss made me feel warm, secure and loved. My body wanted Austin's his passionate kisses showed he wanted mine too. I almost gave into my body's most adult of desires a gurgle from the crib interrupted us reminding us why we couldn't do this. Not with her in here anyway, this house is getting smaller as she gets bigger. I push away from Austin.

"I'm sorry" I whisper kissing him softly on the lips. Austin sighs in disappointment but realisation kicks him and embarrassment is evident on his face. I know we feel the same.

We lay next to each other in silence. Specks of dust dance and pirouette in the air above me shining in the light from the street lamp breaking through a gap in our old curtains. I turn my head on the pillow and look over to Austin he too is watching the dust dance above us, sleep excluding him also.

"4 am pancakes?" I asked.

"Hell yeah" Austin leaped out of bed even the thought of pancakes gives him more energy than a six year old on caffeine.

-{Austin}-

"Pouring the syrup!" I sang squirting the maple syrup bottle watching as the sugary liquid dribble down the stack of pancakes marbling with melted butter making my stomach rumble with lust. Ally giggled on the high breakfast bar chair at the kitchen island watching me dance around making my delicious creations.

"Yummmm!" Ally dragged with an over enthusiastic grin as I placed the pancakes in front of her, her eyes glazing over in pleasure at the sight of the food before her the baby monitor in her hand green robe tided tightly around her waist.

I sat next to her picking up a fork and digging in. Ally roared in laughter pointing at me causing her to drip syrup down her robe making me laugh I caught my reflection in the stainless steel toaster maple syrup giving me a clown smile, made me laugh even more. 4 am pancakes is my favourite tradition. I wake up every day at 4am hoping Ally is awake only occasionally she is and it's always the highlight of my day. We eat and we laugh and we kiss there is nothing more I could ever ask for. Those months where Ally was cut off there was no pancakes.

A large thud from the front door immediately silences us mid laugh. I can see fear in Ally's brown eyes. Adrenaline abducted my body removing all fear. I rushed to the hall cupboard picking up a baseball bat ordering Ally to go to the bathroom and lock the door as the thuds continued. I heard the door screech open.

Fearlessly I peered to the corridor leading to the front door the baseball bat firmly gripped in my hands ready to pounce.

"Dad?" I asked confused stepping into the corridor dropping the bat. I've never seen my father so run down his usual clean shaven face and dark salt and pepper 5 o'clock shadow, his hair was messier than a rats nest, his clothes that usually sit neatly to perfection are tattered and falling from his limp body and he reeked of alcohol. "Are you just getting in? It's 4:30 in the morning!"

"What's it to yah?" He sneered with piercing beady rat eyes. He stumbled towards the stairs aggressively; a man previously I believed wouldn't get angry even under torture. What's going on here?

"Dad, your drunk let me held you" I offered reaching for his arm getting over the shock of seeing my father in such a state.

"Don't need no help" He shot back pushing me away with strength I never knew existed. "MIIIIMIIIII!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs tripping on the bottom step falling forcibly to the floor.

"What's going on? Ally asked softly from behind me baby monitor in hand.

"Dad's drunk. Never seen him this way, think it's best if you just stay out of the way" I told her trying to help my father up even though he kept resisting pushing away muttering under his breath cursing the stairs.

"Ok" Ally stepped quietly into the kitchen and began to clean up our mess.

"I don't need no help!" My dad mumbled his eyebrows narrowed in anger "MI MIIIIIII!" He yelled up the stairs pushing away my helping arms.

"She's in bed, let me help you get up to her" I tried to console him the smell of alcohol on his body intoxicating me making me feel sick.

"DON'T NEED YOUR HELP BOY" my father yelled in my face his nauseating whisky breath slapping my face as he pushed me out of the way making me stumble if it wasn't for my hands magnetically gripping on to the stair banister I would have fallen.

I watched statued by shock as my father trembled up the stairs groaning muttering curses under his breath words I didn't know he knew. A couple bottles of the poison alcohol has metamorphosed my loving caring goofy father into ugly beast with no control.

"Daddy?" I hear a tiny high voice ask sweet and innocently, I stumble my way up the stairs. Jessie is standing before our disguised father in pink pyjamas yawning and stretching out her arms to him. My father grunted and continued swaying to his room.

"Daddy?" I could feel the sadness in her voice "Daddy, I had a bad dream" Jessie followed our dad like a baby duckling her arms open waiting for him to reach for her and swing her around and tell her he loves her like he always.

"I've been living a bad dream we learn to get over it" He sneered at the little blonde girl not an ounce of compassion in his hazel eyes darker than usual.

I rushed to my little sister traumatised by her father's harsh words tears flowing from her green eyes. I pulled her into my arms she buried her face in my chest like when she was small. "Go to your room glitter pants dads not himself, I will be there soon, promise." I whispered kissing her on the cheek. She did what she was told rushing to her room followed by Ally.

"How can you talk to her like that dad?" I asked bravery floods my veins tonight facing the monster that possesses my father. "She's eight! You know better than to drink this much and stay out this late does mom know? I bet she's sick with worry!"

"Don't you talk to me like that! You're no man you're just a boy!" My father shouted at me his face red slurring his words.

"I know that yelling at your daughter and getting so pissed that you don't know which way is up makes you a fool, your just as much a boy than a man as me" I shot back shocked with how easy these accusing words flowed from my mouth, not once have I ever argued with either of my parents.

"Don't you call me a fool!" before I had time to react I saw his fist heading for my face his eyes wide open, face burning with lustful anger. My body feel to the floor in shock. I felt no pain on impact just astonishment, never in a million years would I believe this could happen. I closed my eyes lying on the floor my jaw burned in pain I could feel it throbbing with its own heartbeat growing and swelling. I push myself up glaring at my father wondering what could have happened to him forcing him to turn to the bottle.

"What's going on out here?" My mother demanded hands on hips in her purple nighty eyebrows crooked face in a hard and stern "Austin" Her face softening eyes welling in tears she rushed to my side cradling me in her arm like when I was five and had a cut on my knee.

"MICHAEL!" Mom screamed in a hushed tone "How could you do this?! I told you to quit the drinking now look what you've done" Dads a drinker? How did I not notice? How long has this been going on right under my nose? Tears streaked my mom's pink cheeks but she smiled at me whispering how everything is going to be fine holding me close to her.

"I'm sorry" my dad whispered stumbling to my side "Drink did it not me you know I love yah, never lay a hand on yah" I nodded in agreement accepting his apology.

"You did think Michael not the drink! Go get yourself cleaned up you reek, can't stand the sight of you!" Mom shot back I have never seen her so angry before. Dad bowed his head and did what he was told trailing off like a naughty boy sent to the principal's office.

"Are you ok little prince?"

**A/N; Aurgh! So not happy with this will get the next one up asap coz auuuuurgh! But I hoped you enjoyed it please review I really appreciate it**

**Do what you love and love what you do**

**xox **


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